Admonishment On A Birthday Morning

I do not know the origins of celebration of birthdays. Perhaps it came about from Man’s acknowledgement of what he considers special and precious-“life”. When after one is gone, birthdays become observation of birthdays and no more an occasion to celebrate. That may last until one’s near ones are alive. Then “pooh”, all become star dust and vanish without a trace.

It was fun and glowing in warm attention during the birthdays each year when one was little. There was a sense of importance, a satisfaction of being acknowledged and given a pedestal , gifts  being thrust in the hands, kisses planted! 

I did not approve of a luncheon get together of sorts on my fiftieth birthday a few years ago. It was the persistent disobedience of my sister and wife that saw me blow candles, slice a cake, photographs taken and with a few close friends asked to join.

Come again, today- another birthday and I was pleasantly surprised by a text message from my daughter, Radhika. My son spoke to me early this morning and as true to his self he was reticent and matter of fact with his birthday greeting. I often feel that in that sense he is more of a photocopy I managed to create!

The girl was unambiguous and displayed in her text message an admonishing tone.in fact it is good , I guess that children have the courage to chastise and gently rebuke the parent. I wonder if I would ever have dared to dream doing that when I was her age .It is good thing that she may have done some thinking and decided that I was in the wrong. But the law of Nature or the law of probability is that eight out of ten the father is in the wrong! 

“The Child is father of the Man”, the Wadsworth ode has much substance, though he sang that reveling in the beauty of the rainbow and Nature.

This was what she messaged.

“Achaaaaa!!!!” (Meaning father). Happy Birthday! I hope u make a resolution this year to stop fighting. Losing your temper is no good. Take life as it comes. Even if it is crap that life gives you, take it without fretting. Every end will be a happy one. Happiness is on its way. You just have to be a happy person to feel it and get it."

 "So … A promise you have to make is, NOT to fight with Amma. And not to lose your temper. Be happy. If you do not, I will be like so.......

So keep it. Have a great day “achaaa….” Love U! Ummaaaaa!"

Hang Without Further Delay!

 There has been wide endorsement of the Supreme courts upholding of  death sentence for the lone surviving Pakistani terrorist of 9/11.It is claimed that the sentence will sent signals to the terrorists and their bosses across the border that waging war against India will invite severe retribution. A fascinating argument! But has no proof amongst terror perpetrators that they are hounded by the fear of death. But behold, they will suffocate if freedom is denied and are incarcerated. It is not death that they fear but it is the dream of freedom in Paradise that they believe will be theirs if they put to sword  apostates, that drive them to their savagery.

India may have the wherewithal in conventional terms to be in hot pursuit of the terror wings across the border. But such an attempt we all know will be inviting an all out nuclear conflagration between two nuclear armed neighbours. Hence the weak kneed reactions from us.

In my fair bit of reading, I have not in any Indian mythical treatise stumbled upon an instance where a man or a woman was executed, or given capital punishment. “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”, was not an Indian moral. There have been many wars waged and stories mentioned in Indian mythology, but an execution or taking away life as punishment – NO. Then , on what premises dose the so called custodians of Hindu Dharma and Indian culture the VHP, the Sangh Parivar and the political clan of BJP clamour and cry hoarse for death for Kasab and even for Afsal Guru who we all know was given a kangaroo trial in the Parliament shoot out case? "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth", was a Jewish dictum and then followed by Islam. Christ did not preach snuffing life as punishment for misdeeds. It is the archaic fallout from the Semitic faith that hangs on. The mythical heroes of Indian mythology who we see as incarnations of Gods have not spoken in favor of death penalty.

.Our longing for revenge and vengeance will be satiated when Kasab is hanged. But will his death deter potential terrorists who are blinded by fanaticism and indoctrination by extreme religious elements, both from foreign soil and from within from committing terror in future?

No is the answer. We all know that. The clamour for Kasab's death is only the off shoot of our thirst for vengeance-  It is the beastly instinct in Man that drove Kasab and his cahoots to dance the macabre dance of death in Mumbai and it is the same ghastly instinct that we long to quench by putting Kasab to death

Let the lone surviving terrorist be incarcerated for life. And let that be the beginning of a new thinking. Is it not better to convey that we value life than the terrorists who commit barbaric acts in the name of God and for God? When an extreme form of penalty such as taking away life will not be a deterrent, do we have to continue to embrace that barbaric punishment?

Let Kasab spend his life incarcerated and rue the moment he chose to be prey to the fanatic elements who indoctrinated him to commit the horrendous acts. Let his supposed entry into Paradise be delayed by Nature until he withers naturally.

Of Human Bondage

The formative stage in one’s life, experts say, is during the period of one’s adolescence. Some even go farther behind and state character and one’s idiosyncrasies are formed during the life period ensconced in the womb. 

I have known a couple of brats (formerly) in their toddler days and would be horrified at the thought of them coming home with their parents on their evening strolls. They were enfant terrible while awake and in sleep. Two score years have elapsed since and they are now perfect gentlemen; two charming young men and both in respectable positions in life certainly capable of enchanting any potential bride. And loving grateful sons to their parents!

I look back at myself and wonder if there has been any change in me as a person. The temperament and character I have possessed score and five years ago and what it is now. Being wed locked to a woman changed me, my foibles -my outlook, my temperament, my fear, my fads, my obsessions, my hypocrite shadow? Honestly a self-assessment is possible. But I fear that may be understood as conceited and infelicitous.

I feel that one cannot deny that a person with whom one has been associated in life day and night will not have extended his/her influence .Can we deny? The proportion and the depth of the tentacles of influence and ensnaring as we can call it vary from person. From trivial mundane matters to subjective things with deeper resonance, spouse can influence and again it varies from person to person.

The bloke who relished mutton and beef steak or hot spicy veal in Kerala masala suddenly confessed to his greener and vegetarian ways of gastronomic shift. He claimed that his physiological propensity to retain flab around the midriff and the fear of losing battle of the bulge made him forsake the most relished of all viand. The amusing fact was that his physical appearance had not changed an iota horizontally since the teen age while in college. The fact understandably was that after having married a Telugu Brahmin lady he found the going unpleasant with his gastronomic indulgence. He later said in passing his abstinence helped as his spouse was Brahmin. Call it sacrifice, relinquishing, pliability, adaptability and so on. Perhaps to some the latter is the way to extricate from the quagmire.

In a yet male dominated society, I guess that women are far more influenced or forced to adhere to changed ways and habits to suit the fantasies, fallacies and habits of their spouses- their idiosyncrasies in general. But men are pliable and do so to suit to the whims of their spouses. Survival, adaptability, ingenuity and sometimes helplessness ending with biting the bullet to avoid a bitter home! A bondage and bondage is – “subjection to external influences and internal negative thoughts and attitudes”.

Though there may be visible shifts in one’s character, attitude and other characteristics after the alter ego’s influence post wedlock, I guess no one is impervious to change ipso facto. There may be subtle change in one’s self, which may be conscious or otherwise. Some hit the bottle in worse case scenarios. Difficult to pity them but one can be amused.

I wonder what will be the general take on this matter. The cliched argument and supposed platonic statements such as, “give and take or quid pro quo is petty and doses not retain heart and soul.

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Le Philanderer

I often reminisces Ian Fleming’s fictional spy James Bond when I hear his fantastic experiences. But the contradiction is so glaring that except for the guile and prowess James Bond exhibited over beautiful women this man has nothing that will even palely compare him with the “Spy who loved me”!

He has a falsetto voice. And that is quite annoying. He sounds very churlish, seemingly too, but he is not rude or a moron. Still his knowledge and practice of social etiquette are abysmal. It often offends me and gives me a feeling of shame and stupid. His habits at the meal table are, be it in the office pantry or in a restaurant, devoid of customary decency. He chews like a bovine masticating and produces the grunt and chuckle of a hog hogging. People around turn and stare at him in disgust and irritation. He seems to be oblivious of the attention that he has gathered. Ignorant of the stares he goes on and then occasionally expels on to the table the chewed remains of a vegetable, a fish bone or meat. While then stares turn to frowns, but the man is unaware and unmoved.  

He has receding hairline and occasionally sports a wig, which in fact presents him with a more respectable appearance. His jowls are wide and his cheeks are puffed. He sports a moustache and is not forgetful of shaving the stubble each day. A five feet 8’ frame is liberally decorated with a prominent belly .The battle of the bulge seems to be a one sided affair. He looks about in the mid-forties and with the life style he follows it is a wonder why he does not appear older than he looks. He is just into the forty.

What is sometimes amusing and equally ragging is his penchant and obsession with sex. He has had countless one night stands. Sometimes the analysis and rewinding of his exploits are entertaining but again infelicitous and exasperating. Anything in excess is irritating! He throws quite a sum on women. The oddity is that he takes awful lot of care in spending on his telephone calls but has no restraint in spending tidy sum buying sex. His dictum is that at the end of his days those wonderful moments he spent with women is what would stay enlivening.

It is not polished ways or a distinct panache that he displays that often entices women, be it the ones who sell pleasure for money and the ones who like a flirt. But then, what else could be the juggernaut I do not understand. I’m astonished by a woman from Pakistan who is so obsessed with him. She is perhaps one of the most beautiful, charming and elegant looking I have ever seen. One day it was when I was sitting with him in his office and chatting, that she walked in like a prima donna. I was stunned by her debonair elegance. Tall at five feet and about eight, with wheat-ish complexion, slim and immensely attractive, she was dressed in stylish skirt and blouse. She spoke chaste Urdu, Hindi and accented English. She may be in her late twenties or very early thirties. A mother of two little children she displayed no signs of that. She was the wife of a very rich man and lived in opulence. 

He had told me about this lady whom he met and gotten friendly with. And that she was hounding him for a date. It left me wondering and unable to comprehend how a woman such as she can fall for a very unattractive looking man like he and who has no charm in manner or spoken language.

It was Oscar Wilde who said, “It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” But then our contender is neither.