While discussing life’s uncertainties and challenges with friends, they mentioned a conversation about me with a well-known Ayurvedic physician, a firm believer in astrology and a divine “super force.” They confided that they’ve started seeking guidance from astrology and Vastu, even hiring friends to perform poojas and offer incentives at temples recommended by astrological charts. I wondered if their orthodox Christian faith permitted such practices. Doesn’t this border on embracing heretical doctrines? The Bible commands, “I am the LORD your God who brought you out of Egypt, from the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me... Do not make an image or likeness of what is in the heavens above...”
My impertinent question exasperated them. They had discussed my scepticism toward conventional religious dictates with the physician, who urged them to persuade me to meet him for a discussion, especially upon learning I’m an atheist. I don’t entirely embrace that label, as my stance isn’t about denying a “big brother” but questioning his existence and relevance—does it matter if he is or isn’t? We can explore that later if needed. I detest meddling in others’ beliefs and dislike being sermonised, especially when it feels like an attempt to instil fear. My convictions rest on evidence and knowledge available to me now. Who knows? Tomorrow, I might be proven wrong—or right.
I’ve never chased clairvoyants or their intoxicating comfort. Out of curiosity, I once visited an ashram and attended a yoga session with men draped in burnt-orange robes. It felt like “quality opium,” as someone aptly put it—you float like a feather, then crash back to earth, bruised. When I told my friends I’d be open to meeting this physician, they relayed the message, and he smugly responded, “Didn’t I tell you he’d agree?”
One Saturday morning, I met him at his office within his sprawling hospital and nursing home. In his late fifties, he was tall, well-built, and charming. A Padma Shri award hung prominently on the wall, alongside photos of his parents and a Hindu deity. He had clearly built upon his father’s traditional Ayurvedic sanctuary, achieving commendable success. He suggested we might have met before, which wasn’t true. He admitted that, based on my friends’ description, he pictured me as a lean, emaciated man in my mid-fifties. I clarified I’m in my fifties but not bony or skinny. We laughed it off.
He asked about my problems. I explained they’re mostly business-related, with the ups and downs of the commercial cycle lingering longer than usual. In jest, I added that these vagaries might be overstaying their welcome. When he asked if I believed in God, I said I visit temples or churches with equal detachment and don’t pray. I find peace in the quiet of a countryside temple or a sparsely attended church, not in the commercial clamour of places like Guruvayur or Velankanni. He inquired if I was a communist, perhaps overriding my traditional upbringing. I clarified I’ve never subscribed to any “ism”—communism, Hinduism, or otherwise. Since age seventeen, I haven’t prayed or visited temples to petition for favours. He asked if my family had a “kula deivam”—a family deity. I nodded, mentioning my mother’s side has a Devi temple tied to their origins, perhaps a totem. “Have you been there?” he asked. I admitted I visited once, thirty-five years ago.
He declared my professional difficulties stemmed from being a “turncoat, a renegade.” “You were a believer in your teens, then turned your back on your family deity. Her displeasure is haunting you.” I listened, intrigued to see where this would lead. Meanwhile, he had obtained my birth date from my friends and prepared my horoscope. An astrologer—a woman in her early forties—entered, paid obeisance to him, and sat beside me, laying out her traditional tools. She recounted my past and present, which I found unremarkable since I already knew them. Delving into the constellations, she claimed I’m facing the wrath of the family deity. The stars, ominously aligned, would trouble me for nine more years, though the worst had passed and would cease by April 2010. She accurately described my past (perhaps through mystical calculations?) and noted I carry burdens silently. But who doesn’t face challenges? She warned that “nemesis” lurks at my door, and only the deity’s blessings and fervent prayer could avert bad omens.
They proposed a remedy: “You’ve forgotten your Amma, the deity who gave you your mother. Visit her temple, offer wealth, and apologise for turning away. You’ll see the difference.” I didn’t go there to debate or confront. I went because it wouldn’t disrupt my life. But the encounter reinforced a conviction: bribery and corruption begin in the divine’s presence. Offering quid pro quo to the Almighty is the root of sleaze and graft.
I raised a question: many unethical people I know—embodiments of falsehood—frequent places of worship, offer prayers and lavish gifts to God, and lead prosperous lives. Meanwhile, countless others suffer in pain. Could they explain this contradiction? “Don’t think about such people,” they replied, dodging the question.
After this interaction, my beliefs remained unchanged. I’m told to live in fear, appease a “big brother” with offerings, and avoid inconvenient questions. I don’t disparage the physician’s intentions, but I wonder why people are so sensitive about my private worldview. Why must a celestial overseer manipulate cosmic objects to toy with us? Why assume we’re the linchpin of the planet’s existence? The sun will rise and set whether we’re here or not—it’s not “after me, the deluge.” If I could meet this “big brother,” I’d tell him, “You’re terribly inefficient. Retire and let us manage ourselves.”
The question of life’s meaning remains unanswered, a mystery. What do we make of it? A recent message on my phone echoed this sentiment: “A random stranger’s report: celestial bodies would agree a change in their course is overdue. People endure nonsense and sense, often beyond comprehension. How easily a cosmic shift could alter a life. Prolonged inaction burns out the urge to move, yet sometimes it sparks a wanderlust that lasts an eternity. A being pins hopes on celestial bodies to change its course and transform lives.”
The mystery persists, and I’m left wondering: what’s it all for?