The Counsel

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself”, - so said Oscar Wide.

Isn’t it quite true? How often have we been advised, eloquently and  with the imperiousness of wisdom but annoying to receive? I often wonder if it is not easy to offer advice and suggestions on matters of life rather than to apply in our lives the silver-tongued regurgitation that we give.

I have often been forced to delve into all repository of patience when people intervene with corrective suggestions and how one should conduct in certain situations and matters. Which, knowing them is quite obvious will not be applied in their lives.There may be ideal ways ,but they may not always be ideal to be applied ipso facto.

Receiving advice, suggestions and pieces of wisdom are quite wonderful matter, but the provider of such advice is not the master, the bearer of the situation that one is in. It is one thing to articulate criticism in the way a person walks, but entirely a different matter to shove one’s leg into the others footwear and then enact a perfect "cat walk’’ in life.

This does not mean that perse, advises are to considered anathema. I feel it should be left to one’s judgment and acumen to discern, to sieve the supposed wisdom that is offered and apply what is wanted.

But the annoying part is that advises are often given unsolicited and without any personal experience or knowledge of the situation, the state a person is in ,or is helplessly left to tend all by oneself. And the hardest species who descend in such situations are the ones who believe they have the antidote for all and every matters in life.

Until a few years ago, there was absolutely no interpersonal connection between members of my paternal family and myself, my sister and mother. In fact they lived deluding themselves, that we never existed and that fabulous reign of opportunism ran for a quarter century and little more. It was a few years ago that one of my cousins whom I met the last when I was little alighted from no where one morning and eulogised my mother and fervently inquired about our well being.

 Conveniently for him and the rest of the folks it was sunshine days for me, my sister and mother. During the years of hibernation of my paternal folks, there was a lot of pressure personally on me from others in the form advises that we should not bear hurt and animus for their indifference and they were the brothers , sisters, nephews and nieces of my father. There was considerable pressure (let me call it, advise) from these “Samaritans” to engage my paternal folks in the wedding of my sister. I put my foot down that it was unnecessary. And that we really did not miss them all the years we were not existent from their point of view. I was categorised as arrogant and impertinent. So be it! My logic was simple, and that sunshine day relationships are rather done without. And I did not notice us missing something vital in life.

The past story is now repeating and has visited us (I, C and our children) from another angle. And I still hold the view that, sunshine day companions are always not welcome, even be it the Sultan of Brunei himself.

It gives one the much  needed vitality!