Pigeonholing

It was quite a long time since we four got together. It also seems in all likelihood that such coming together will be a rarity in the days ahead. I must admit that the physical distance between us is not felt only because of the social media and other applications that have literally usurped physical intimacy and tactile affection. Face book, Whatsapp and the ubiquitous mobile phones make one unaware of the physical distance; emotions have become less important these days. As parent I and C might soon get used to the feeling that though the children are far out somewhere on the planet, pleasantries on the Skype, on the Whatsapp would undo at least to  some extent, the feeling of despondency and loneliness that many vouch is the companion and paramour in twilight days.

While sitting in that fascinating pub in Bangalore that pulsated with young men and women besides a few grey haired like me and C, I wondered briefly, reflectively about my teen and youth. Times have changed or are it that as parents we are different? I guess the later is truer. I felt remorse about a stifling childhood and growing up years. I took care to not to be walloped in self pity and drank the Bavarian beer that was served.

The best thing parents can do for the children  besides ensuring a good education and grooming, is to let them walk free into their lives. How true are the words that “to love is to let fly free, let go”!  I hate to be trapped by conventions and stereotyping and would not want them to be shackled either. The discerning ability of choosing right over wrong is ammunition and confidence enough to go forward. I guess they have that in them.

A friend while in conversation with me yesterday told me that he was thinking of groom hunting for his daughter who would be coming to the country on vacation in the coming summer. I wondered why and asked him why he would not seek her opinion; ask her if she is in that frame of mind. Parents tend to follow conventions and stereotyping. Life has all now become too familiar and too predetermined for comfort. Is marriage and procreation the acme in human life that human beings must aspire for?

An NRI friend from childhood was here a few months ago and over dinner which they graciously fed me with the lady stated loudly, “I’m certain you and C must have by now collected all the gold one possibly could”. I knew instantly what she was alluding to and that she wanted it out of my mouth. I feigned innocence and with a wry smile, said. “What? Why must we collect gold like bounty hunters?”                                                                                                                                             “You know for certain. Don’t you? R is twenty one and soon you would be thinking of marrying her away.” She said.

I briefly told her that we have no fascination for gold nor have we ever gone to bed without supper and hungry saving gold. Besides though we would strongly advise the children to ensure a family if they were to have children, these matters are to be left to them than as parents we lord over their lives even after they have flown. We have not chosen their professions either .It was their individual choice.

I hope, if the kids amble into this Blog they would be reminded,”do what you folks love to do than let ye be shackled by what others want of you”. I guess the kids have grown understanding that. Hope.