Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Alchemy



Someone said that there is nothing we can call the right plan or the correct decision and for that matter the wrong plan or the wrong decision. It is the future course of events and how we handle the plan that makes it right or wrong and correct or otherwise. In retrospect it is  pretty easy to pass critical judgment. If we had the sagacity and the vision as to the outcome of our decisions we may have seen a much different life than we live now. Ratan Tata has said that he does not believe in making the right decision, but in making one and then toiling to make it right. Sensible indeed!

The Road not taken and treading the path less travelled makes all the difference! The subject that bothers me is the decision of A, my son. It has not rattled me but a bit apprehensive. He has been harbouring the idea now for some time and he finally after seeing much huffing and puffing from me since I came to know of that from his mother, called me up a few days back and narrated his plan.

He graduated in Visual media and has been into some practical works in a couple of films with a few friends of mine who are in the film industry. He ostensibly has planned to do Master’s in cinematography. And he has been scouring the net for avenues – and institutions where he can go to. Fair enough. But his decision to take time away from the immediate priorities (as I gauge it) is a matter of consternation to me. He wants to be in Bangalore or Chennai for a while and be participating in English theater activities. This is when he has concrete offers to work in films as an apprentice in cinematography and that which will aid in providing him much practical knowledge when he files his resume for the Master’s course where ever he chooses.

However he has his decision made. And though I have my apprehension – the fore most being the possibility of wasting time in something he will not dwell thereafter; ignoring offers to involve him with acclaimed faces in the films, may be construed as rude and indifference.

So finally when he called me and spoke on the matter, I had to shun my reservations and fear to tell him that if he has found his choice of the road, the one that he thinks is right, to go forward and make it right. Can I stand in the way of a young man who must have weighed the pros and cons of his choice and who is tenacious that he has to follow a certain course to reach his destination?

I do not see the idea of something called destiny as Paul Coelho did in his novel “The Alchemist”. I find no reason to believe it as a predetermined city square to where we eventually reach. Each one of us is unique in our own way and we are the only ones responsible for our decisions. If he can be comfortable in his decision, he can exhibit a single minded purpose in reaching the destination which people call in retrospect- destiny, it can then be the treasure which “Santiago” the shepherd boy searched for. If that see him forging the road not taken or less traversed so be it. He needs to be his own alchemist.

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.”                                                                                                                W.Blake


But as a parent who has had half a century of vicissitudes to remember it is a tad difficult for comfort.


20 comments:

Daniel said...

I had a discussion with him a few months ago and understood he exactly knows what he wants to do. I think you did the right thing in letting him do as he wishes

Balachandran V said...

Wish him luck and give him whatever support you can.

Insignia said...

Your apprehension is evident in your writing here. And yes tough it would be. Wish him the best luck; experience is the best teacher Sir!

Rama Ananth said...

Anil, times have changed for the better in some aspects. Now if one has talent, dedication and commitment one can be successful in any career.
Slowly people are realizing that they have to be happy doing the work they like the best, and when some one loves his/her job, it no longer feels like a job. It is fun to be challenged and travel the road less traveled. My husband does that, and he simply loves it.
All the best to your son and his future goals.

Felicity Grace Terry said...

I suppose he has at least thought about it - it amazes me how many decisions are made on the spur of the moment.

NRIGirl said...

Most kids don't pursue higher education when they figure they can find a good paying job with current credentials. Just the fact A insists on furthering his studies is an indication he has put his heart in it. Surely success will be his! Wishing him only the best!

You did a great job keeping cool!

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

Well, quite inexperienced am I, but I have a feeling that you did the right thing. Crisp, clear and beautifully written! All the best to A.

Shilpa Garg said...

Can understand the predicament you must be having but am sure, A must have thought all bout it... so it's best to let him do what his heart desires... '
All the best to, A! :)

Happy Kitten said...

Anil: Be proud that you have a son who knows what he wants! Not only has he taken a degree but he also want to study further. Dont worry, he will be alright... just let us know when he hits big in the movie world.

BK Chowla, said...

Did you watch 3idiots?Go watch it.
One must give advise to the children and let them decide as to what do they want to do.

Ramakrishnan said...

Good that you removed the chains and unfettered him ! I am sure he will do well. If not he do a course correction at a later date. He appears to be a confident & intelligent young man and knows what he wants to do and how to reach there :) Did we at his age ??

"A" said...

Acha this is my life yes? and i would want to live it in my own pace. When everyone keeps reminding you that the 'clock is ticking,' and that timee is being wasted it makes me panic. Im 22 now ive got time. Im sure that when you were 22 you had no idea where your life was taking you. Its the same with me but i know what i want to do and where i want to be and i will get there. why wont i? its something that i love to do isnt it? You are my father, and your doing a brilliant job at that let me tell you, it would be wrong if you didnt worry about us. Hell, im worried myself but with your support and guidance we could make Everest look like a heap of sand.
To get to where i want will take a while acha but i'll get there. All i need is some time and space to do what i want when i want. Ill figure it out acha. In the meantime you keep worrying. Haha. We wont dissapont you. Well atleast i wont i dont know about my stupid sister. Haha. Im joking. We will do good. Trust us.

anilkurup59 said...

@ Daniel,

Yes, he did mention to me your discussion with him.I agree with you.

@ Balachandran,

Sure the decision is final and no shackles.

@ Insignia,
Someone once told me that he did not understand what it was to be a father until he became one.
Yes indeed I agree with your views on experience.


@ rama,

You are right . However the difference in opinion here was about the road to be taken and not the destination. Thank you for the good wishes.


@ petty Witter,
Yes he seems to have thought about it. That is a great solace for comfort.

@ NRIGirl,
Thanks for the wishes. But you see it is a lot difficult to keep one's cool when you are have had a down hill slide.Anxiety is all around!


@ Arun ,

Thanks for the wishes and your appreciation of the post.


@ Shilpa Garg.

Yes he has. And thank you for the good feelings and wishes.


@ Happy Kiite,

Thanks Asha. Ha sure will let you keep abreast.


@ BK Chowla,

I have seen the movie. But Sir, the matter is that we sermonise ( as I may have often) on the matter of another. But would falter and forget the sermon when it comes to one's own matter.


@R.Ramakrishnan,

Yes indeed. I may have not had the guts to put forth my point of view like Aravind did. And I'm certainly a lot different to him than what my father or others who had their bearings on my life had and showed.I was a coward and perhaps unsure.


@ Aravind,

Your last sentence- watch out that little sister of yours , when she reads it will fly down from Mumbai to skin you alive!

Your reply to this post has been sufficiently prophesied by all the fellow bloggers who ventured here. They have echoed your sentiments and your optimism. Wish you the best and apprehensions will be eclipsed gradually .Remember to have perseverance..

sujata sengupta said...

All the best for A, It was good to see his response to your post as well. I am sure he will do well and succeed in his chosen path.

anilkurup59 said...

@ Sujata,

Thank you for the wishes and the sentiments .

Meera Sundararajan said...

Difficult decision Anil for a parent. But then all important decisions in life are often made on the basis of insufficient data- wishing your son all the best. Chennai has a good English theater scene - the Madras Players is pretty well known. But I am not sure how many do it professionally. Most of them are amateurs. If he is interested he can do a course at the National School of Drama. However knowledge of Hindi is a must for admission into NDA- even Adoor Gopalakrishnan had to choose FTII over NSD because he had no knowledge of Hindi

anilkurup59 said...

@ meera Sundarajan,

Difficult , yes. But it is also unwise to drive down something against his wishes. My apprehensions stays for now. And going by his words and confidence may not after all be a decision gone bad.

KParthasarathi said...

He seems focused and will do well in his chosen field.Best wishes to the youngman

anilkurup59 said...

@ K.Parthasarathi,
Yes seems so. And hope good, Thank you.

adithyasaravana said...

I could feel your apprehension and also his confidence..
He seems to be focussed.. I know we wish best for our kids and supplement our fears with our experience.
Let him feel the pulse of life..all the best for Aravind