Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Warmth of Hearts



I had a dream.
It is strange that sometimes events and people from long ago visit us in dreams. Whatever may the Freudian analysis about such episodes and of which I must confess I have no knowledge of, it is certain three things in life would stay in our subconscious- people, places and events. Perhaps flavour of good gastronomic delights too!

It is often irksome and wakes you from the deep slumber when a quiescent and pleasant dream is cut short without an end and in haze. One such happened the other night.
The genesis of the story was long ago when I was in my twenties and the three of us who were from Thpuram used to with unfailing routine meet over weekends and, breaks from work in between on other holidays. I used to travel back from Cochin where I was then placed. The meetings were generally at S’s house and we used to spend much time of the day and evenings in his room tucked away downstairs. We used to spend hours talking nothingness, women, and all nonsense under the sun. In gradual time we acquired the audacity to have a few glasses of booze as well, secluded there. All this, while two noble souls used to be sitting up above, watching television and chatting – S’s wonderful parents!

The extreme difficulty was we had to go out through the living room upstairs where his father and mother spend most of their time. So sneaking out after the few drinks was ruled out and invariably one of them caught us on the way out and we had to sit with them and politely spend sometime chatting. It was awkward to be around with them after our episodes with alcohol.But,I'm certain his father was aware of our audacity but he did never mention even in passing.

The uniqueness I have not seen in other parents was the unbridled affection and love they had for us. The difference between their son and we, his friends was something they were alien to them. It was one particular incident when B, reached the house and found his parents with a few old guests seated in the living room. When the strangers saw him behave like an  inmate and straight  into conversation and unrestrained chatter with the father and mother, one impertinent old fellow in the group eyeing him suspiciously asked the father who the fellow was. His immediate response was, “This is S’s friend and he is  like my son, rather he is my son too!”
It is beyond the capability of words to describe the pure love and feeling they maintained for us. They were not from the economically  upper-class of the society. In fact his father retired as a policeman in the common rank. His parents reared six children and we now sometimes reminisce that all the six are in very good realms of life, it is because perhaps of the nobility of hearts of the old couple.

It was on the occasion of the sixtieth birthday of B’s mother that we had a small luncheon at his house. It was during the peak of the simmering upheaval in the aftermath of my decision to marry  “C”, a catholic girl. I was there with my mother and S with his mother too. Besides us there was B and his mother. I had not met S’s mother since the news of my audacious and unconventional decision was out. She looked me straight in the face and said in an admonishing note, “You little scoundrel .Do not grin, after all that you were up to, do not keep smiling at me. You boys take pleasure in hurting us, parents and our feelings.”S and B were taken aback by the suddenness of the rebuke and its tone. My mom was affected severely and she later confided to my sister. B's mother was elegantly callous in appearance as if she did not hear the reprimand.  I was taken aback for a brief while (though it seemed like eons) by the severity of the rebuke. But after, I was feeling sublime and serene within- for her angry short expressive outburst and censure was something different from the more passive disapproval I faced from my mother who was then nonconforming in a different way to my decision. It was then and where I understood the intense power and rage of affection. I still remember the happiness in her face and how she took C by the hand and held her when I took her to S’s house after our wedding. The bond sometimes exists even when one is not tied by the superficiality of relationship.

I saw them vividly in the same living room and like I may have seen them many a time while they were alive. It was hazy as dreams often are. But then is it not the haziness and the abrupt ending of dreams such as this that makes one live with fond memories?

24 comments:

Happy Kitten said...

Sometimes I sleep just so that I can dream... nd some dreams like yours are sweet and one hates getting out of it..

Such good souls are rare to find these days...it is not easy to accommodate friends of children every day..but then I think you 3 had a rare friendship too..

Kavita Saharia said...

Heartwarming! Brought smile to my face. Reminds me of some people I love so much. I will call up them today.

KParthasarathi said...

I liked that outspokenness of S's mom in rebuking you.She would have done the same to S too,may be more.It is easy to deal with such persons and they generally tend to forgive faster than those who nurse the wrongs(?) for long.
I liked the narration

rama said...

Somehow I don't like to dream, and I do get dreams everyday eating into my sleep. Always before I go to sleep I keep wishing that at least one day spare me the dreams and let me have peaceful sleep. Many times I don't even remember the dreams or only vaguely remember them.
I don't mind day dreaming.
However, it was good to read about it from you.

anilkurup said...

@ Happy Kitten,

Your fascination of dreams seems to be in total contrast to another comment below where the dislike for dreams was expressed. A deep sleep sans dreams!
personally I wouldn't mind pleasant dreams.
Yes indeed A, such souls are rare .


K.Parthasarathi,

Yes the outspokenness was from the freedom she took to herself and rightly so . Honestly I was disturbed a while because she was candid from a mother's point of view.
Thanks for the appreciation.

@ rama.

You must be the special one who dislikes dreams. Well as I do if they are pleasant.

Thanks for the appreciation.


Usha Menon said...

Hi Anil,your dream is very pleasant.Your friend's mom was actually not rebuking you but showing her love and concern. You rightly understood her. Such good souls are rarely seen now-a-days.

anilkurup said...

@ Usha Menon,

yes precisely as you said.

Sandy said...

A beautiful memory in every way..Maybe your dream was a gentle reminder of life's goodness in the big and little things..What wonderful parents. They loved you as their own..Wonderful story, anilkurup......Sandy

Insignia said...

I read your post and forget to comment! It has happened twice now!

Sometimes the wonderful people you have/had around make your life beautiful by visiting you in dreams. That was a very sweet and welcoming dream I guess.

I sense that you had a very good set of friends and their parents and family accepted you as their own. Lucky you!

NRIGirl said...

Sweet. I wish you would go on saying wonderful things about them...

anilkurup said...

@ Sandy,
Thank you very much for empathizing and the appreciation.

@ Insignia,

I will be disappointed if the select few like you skip the blog without commenting,without critique.
Yes indeed I'm fortunate in many sense like this.

@NRIgirl,

Certainly you would if you had known them. Such people are blessing to us amidst the abominable around.

Meera Sundararajan said...

Good memories never die.They remain alive in our subconcious coming out when we least expect them to. You were very lucky in your friends' parents. Few parents understand friendships among their children.

anilkurup said...

@ Meera Sundarajan,

Thank you for the words.

....Petty Witter said...

What a beautifully heartwarming post. Its especially wonderful to see a man who is in touch with his emotions. I love it when I'm comforted by visitors (both the 2 legged and 4 legged variety) to my dreams.

rudraprayaga said...

I think goodness lingers in a corner of our subconsciousness sending spark of replay at times.You might be in the ownership of at least a little of that type of goodness and that is why it looms again.

anilkurup said...

@ Pettwitter,

Thanks friend . Thanks for the appreciation.

@ rudraparayg,

You think so - a little bit of goodness lies somewhere in the corner?
That is indeed a great appreciation. Thanks . yep , I do not know but it must be the replay of the happenings , events and people lying in the deep part of our mind , people, things and events that may have caught our attention at some point in the past.

Ashwini C N said...

Fond memories indeed. We might think of something and forget about it when we get immersed in work, but our sub conscious always keeps thinking of thise things which are close to our hearts. I do hate it when dreams are suddenly cut off!

anilkurup said...

@ Ashwini.C.N

Yes you are right. the memories linger somewhere and come out sometimes.

....Petty Witter said...

Stopping by to say good afternoon from an extremely cold and blustery north east of England.

Ravi said...

Anil.......... it is great to hear good about our parents from someone else. Really brought tears to my eyes.

We were blessed with such godo parents.

Good day to you...........

anilkurup said...

@ Ravi,
Hello chettan pleasant surprise that you stumbled on to my blog.

Well,I consider it of good fortune to have known souls like your father and mother. It was affectionate times there at your house in Sasthamangalam when they were there.

Karma said...

Dear Anil...

Very good write-up on achan n amma...only a handful of people can express these feelings with such clarity and articulateness... Am particularly touched by ur reminiscences of amma... my eyes really welled up on reading it...great work!!!

Karma said...

Btw... Am Jayan's wife Aparna

anilkurup said...

@ Karma,

Good that you identified yourself. I was confuse a shade.

Well it was just a chanced good dream and was a good reminiscence.
It is the things that we can cherish be it people , place or events that enlivens. I guess you 'd agree.
Hope to see you often in the blog.