Little lady with the lamp

This happened a few years ago. And R was in the middle school class.
C spoke to me about her father’s death anniversary. And that she would prefer to visit his grave in the Kilpauk cemetery in Chennai where he was laid to rest. She confided that she needed some peace of mind on that day and so did not want to spend the day with her clan who as usual where all slated to make the anniversary day a day for feasting and superficial prayers. She also disliked the retinue of prelates who would descend on her clan’s bungalow. She traveled to Chennai by the overnight train on January the 11. I booked her return tickets on the 12 th evening flight from Chennai to Coiambatore . And assured her that I will pick her from the airport.

On the 12 th evening I and R (she had holidays) drove to Coiambatore. to pick C when she was back .

The drive back to our place was almost an hour and it was a bit late around 9 in the night. R took the rear seat of the car and we thought she slept off. C began to tell about her brief time in Chennai; her visit to the cemetery and how she got the care- taker to clean the tomb stone and arranged for some flowers to be laid on, and the time she stayed by the grave in quiet.

She also dropped over at her brother in law’s flat to enquire after him. He was living alone and after a by pass surgery of the heart. His wife  suddenly developed anathema to him. Perhaps he was past his prime, perhaps he was a handicap with a heart condition! Who can tell the wiles of woman without being charmed by her deceit? It was apparent from what C was telling me that he was finding it difficult to meet ends. And with no one for company, help or comfort. The discussion on this gentleman and the wickedness of people concerned went on for most of our drive back home. We in fact could only sigh for him.

C told me later next day that R was awake all through the drive back from Coiambatore . And she went to C first thing in the morning and said, “amma I was awake while you were discussing about ‘daddy’( she calls her uncle daddy).And I listened to all that you and atcha discussed. I have about one thousand rupees with me from my last birthday and other times. You can send that money to daddy. He is in need.”.

She was then twelve and I wish and hope that she carries such a heart through her life.

SHE

There has always been the one and only irritant which has created small tremors in our midst (me and C). It has been her helpless difficulty in accepting fait accompli when it comes to who are her siblings. There were quite a few heated arguments and yelling from my side. There were times when we chose to ignore the existence of the other for days. And I realised, I guess her as well, that we were being unhelpful to our life by being at logger heads on a subject which is about the malevolence of others.

But painfully I realised the burning ember within her that she has always tried to put away from me. Perhaps it was her way of not accepting and hoping that the reality is not what it is but what she long and yearn it is. Perhaps she thinks that if she breaks down in an unassuming and unguarded moment from the agonising puncture her inner self carries from the spitefulness of her siblings, that would be morally depressing after all the aura and fortification she created around the love they have for her.

I have wondered loudly during many of our discussions and arguments on the matter that she is being foolish showing her left cheek, while they have already mauled the other. I ask her often "why do you have to invite them to spite your whole face when you know that they have done that to your cheek”?

She confesses that she knows they are such, but she cannot be vengeful and dislike them. She laments she cannot hate them for what they do to her. She says that should they be in trouble and need she would be unhesitant to lend them succour. She cannot be what they are. That seems to be the perennial difficulty she would encounter and perhaps she being different is what I, Ara and R are lucky about.

Modern day Pharohs

This is a brief note on the Modern day Pharaohs who crave to reach the nether world with all their trappings from this world intact.

They are  amongst us. And they lost their soul long ago when the life they chose was one of lust for riches. Now they are all in their near twilight times. But the feeling of invincibility rules the roost and has metamorphosed them into impudent lot. The audacity comes from the power of the riches that flooded to them like manna from heaven. The weird sisters of Macbeth (the three witches) where a lot that was unfairly ridiculed as the dark characters. But the witches I speak about are the wayward ones, hand in hand, and assume to be the masters of the sea, sky and land”.

They are witches of dark and contradictory nature, with filthy trappings and activities.

They know that the days of the mortals are few. But the craving to walk the earth forever and ever lingers like the undying tempest.

They have now struck upon the idea of an after life. They yearn and will to carry the booty they amassed through their very many means into the crypt they will finally be interned. Like the Pharaohs they have decided to take into their sepulcher the gold, trinkets, money and all other material garnering they possess. They fear, they fear having to leave all that they possess behind.

They fear being dispossessed in this world. The fear of being dispossessed in the nether world! And like the Pharaohs they fear death and dispossession. And they look forward to the Day of Judgment when they they believe they can carry all that they have with them. Fear has begun to give them sleepless nights.

And yes they are building the Pyramids of the present times so that they can intern in with all that they possess.