"The man who lies to himself and listens to his own
lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or
around him, and so loses all respect for him and for others. And having no
respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract him without love
he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, ……., all from continual lying to
other men and to himself."
How perfect a summing up are these lines of Foyodr Dostoevsky!
He ceased to love and all that he showcased as love and affection
were charade. His cunning and glory facade was magnified in the form of
excessive display of devotion (sic) to his God. And since he began to be delighted
in lies, he lost his power to distinguish between falsehood and facts: he believed and regaled in falsehood and
knavish. Thence he lost his touch with his creator. For he lied to him too and
bated no eyelid, he believed that his lies were the truth! Truth, he wanted to
see and for others to believe.
“What is done is done”, she would fume and no blandishments
meant for her husband unlike Lady Macbeth. She would continue, “...and what has
to be done must be done, I do not care if it is your mother, sisters, brother
or friends”. However to accuse her of the lone source of wickedness and
malfeasance would be quite unfair .It must be understood that the two were
uniquely created for the other and in fact their self-serving smugness and vile
compliments each other.
When serendipity smiles, she hugs. And when it hugged him it
was a bear hug. It suffocated him with manna and enkindled the selfishness and
arrogance dormant in him.
They were two, he and his brother. Born into a very modest
and ordinary family in the pleasant climes of a mountain village, their
childhood was lively as that of any other kids reared in the remote quietness
of the hills. Until they were in their early teens they had no clue or idea
about a world and lands over the hills. The farthest they traveled was the eight
kilometers on the serpentine road criss- crossing the Tea and Coffee
plantations to the nearest semblance of what was a village. The rickety old ramshackle
wooden and tin sheet contraption that they called, “the bus” ran on a rundown
Fargo engine scraped by the British military after the Second Great War. The
schedule of the bus from the gate of the Church of “The Immaculate Virgin”, a
couple of hundred yards from their house to the distant village was a certainty
as uncertainty can be. And she plied the distance like a lame tortoise. But
nevertheless the bus and the journey in it were akin to a supersonic travel for
the brothers.
Old man Karamazov was a good man and he respected his God
more than what others did- fear. He toiled hard earnestly and with heart and
soul to bring bread and burn the wick at home. He had immense faith in his
creator and reared the eight children he had. It will be unfair to discount the
hand his wife lend and served him in rearing the kids and keeping their home a
little garden of Eden.
In such atmosphere there was bound to be love, affection,
gaiety and the struggles are soothed out forgotten and consigned out. Though
the fact was that, individual fault lines in the character of the kids refused
to be submerged. They did often latently raise their heads. But the gentle Mr
Karamazov came down heavily when recalcitrance was noticed.
It was after their few teen years spent aimlessly in the
lotus eating wilderness of the hills did Mr.Karmazov decide to send them to a
faraway city into the guardianship of their Godfather. The brothers enjoyed the
new world. The young Karamazov was wily and a salesman in flesh, blood and breath.
A man who could sell a refrigerator to an Eskimo and still have him feel he
bought a warmer. He could easily grab a small job in a company and his artful
ways and countenance gave him fair speed of rise in the organization. The
eldest of the Karamazov brothers though, was content to be in the shadow of his
kid brother and be happy with the little blessings that came his way because of
the later. Life was fair and splendid! The Karamazov brothers dutifully send
regular money through post to their old man back home. In later years one may
have to notice this as a strange aberration in their character especially of
the youngest. They were noticeably very sensible and a dutiful duo though the
young Karamazov was colourful and rather flamboyant in style. His brother
though was quiet, preferring to lie low and enjoy the pleasures of the world.
Avarice was the lecherous maiden that slept with the younger
Karamazov. And his acts of felony was unearthed by the company sleuths who were
watching his rather extravagant life and they caught him hands on , confronted
him and threw him out ignominiously from the job. With the corner stone gone the
eldest of the Karamazov brothers was infirm and like a helpless duck caught in
the middle of a busy motor way.
Lady luck smiled on the brothers in unexpected and enviable
form. It would take a few quires of paper to narrate their rise up the social
hierarchy and for the young Karamazov it was phoenix like and of great pride.
The lifeline he got was like avenging the ignominy and ill-luck that put him
down for quite a while
When the younger Karamazov spake the rest of the clan
trembled and they trembled convulsively from fear when his lady spake. Such was
the power of wealth that was in their control. He began to expressively use
others as means to his desired end. One day he banged his fist with such
furiousness and ferocity on the dinner table during a family dinner to observe
old man Karamazov’s death anniversary that the whole group of his clan trembled
and shriveled. Such was the force of his fist coming down on the wooden table,
glasses and plates flew scattered. He said “This is my money, my wealth. It is
I and my wife who decide who eats from our plate”. He turned to the old woman and gesticulated with terrific eyes and yelled derisively, “if you want to go back to the
house in that god forsaken hills and
into that den plastered with clay and cow dung you can and take with you who
among the people here who disagree with me. Here, I’m the lord”, and pointing
towards his wife he continued, “beware she will decide who is welcome and who
is not. She is the mistress here”. There was appalling terror and hate in his
face. As one among who was then, there, sitting perched miserably in a chair
nearby saw as she later recollected, “I saw the devil in his face, the devil,
Lucifer himself!”
The elder of the Karamazov brothers was as he always was, content
with the second fiddle and he preferred the crumbs from his kid brother rather
than show the courage and moral fortitude to stand up to him and his ruthless,
overly ambitious and pathetic wife. He feigned deafness to all the shenanigans
of the duo and there, at the table on that day, he slipped out to smoke his
cigars. An artful escapist and self-seeker! He had the right to remain silent
but lacked the moral courage not to be silent.
He surely will have died many a
time while he lives.