I do not mean this for myself. But just musing over wives
whom I have known, mine and that of my friends and others; their life’s with
their spouses. I do agree that by the same token a woman who may read this can
also compare from the other side too.
I have a colleague who I have often noticed speaking to his
wife back at home over the phone in an impatient and rude tone. Though I
resisted eaves dropping, I have sometimes exercised a bit to overhear his
conversation on the phone and I have noticed in the distant unremitting voice
over the phone that she does not care to listen to him, but keeps talking when
he at this end is violent in tone and asks her to first listen before chattering.
Yes, this may be one sided judgment, but what often struck me was his rudeness
on the phone and his impatience when talking to her. I have not noticed this
when he, for instance talks to his parents. He is not too keen to often go back
home either. The bottom line that cannot be ignored is that he married her
after a courtship.
A close friend is often blushing when his wife opens out on the
arguments and battles that comes about in their midst. The apparent traces of
philandering he indulges in. She even hilariously narrated one instance and
went on to talk about an argument they had one evening over his wanting to go
out to the club for a drink and she suggesting he do it at home and they can be
together. He refuses and she proposes an option that she will go with him and
gulp down a few drinks too (she is a teetotaler). The situation flares as he stays
adamant. She locks the house from within so that he cannot venture out and
consigns the key to place where he could not find. He is upset and locks himself
in the bedroom and goes to sleep. He later finds her drunk and cuddled up in
the sofa in the living room after vexedly polishing off a few glasses of his
favourite single malt. They had an
inflamed romance before tying the knot and it is twenty five years since.
There are some who are malleable and often one might wonder
if it is not a tad deigned. In some case the act becomes more of a rule and
demand than an exception. Puppets on a string? Equally remarkable are the specious
husbands; the ingratiating ones. Not necessarily would the wife be a termagant,
but they love their act. Perhaps often matter of adaptation?
I wonder where I stand. Fortunately though it has been a
life a bit quarrelsome, dissenting and not so pluperfect, it has also been pluperfect
as relationships like say, with friends can be .Perhaps, as exasperating,
affectionate and forgiving as say even sibs would be. “Touch wood!” I
hope C would agree.
.
I would tell this to a person who I know and is by blood
related to me. It may be rude to say that he is timorous and callow at forty.
That is a pity but is the fact. Romantic blissfulness during the brief dating
they had after they chanced to meet in a temple probably was not enough to
unveil their selves. Perhaps they were too aware and conscious to let go the
armour they held over them. The enigma of the passionate times as always
vanished soon and reality knocked on the door. The bitter side of them or
either one of them was blown open. And the incompatibility was felt as she claims,
by her. She alleges that he may not have felt the difference as he was obsessed
with himself- a “narcissist” in her words. Isn’t it true that while you are
dating you pretend to be someone else? They both may have .
He is certainly distressed, but she is unheeding and often
one feels the woman is inexorable. Well what can one say unto him, but to tell her,
“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about
love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong
person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."