Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Insightful Sardar


The most industrious, valiant and rackety group of people in India are the Sikhs. And perhaps  the epic centre of hilarious anecdotes, imaginations and stories. Here is one such that came to me from a friend.


George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. 

 'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!'


 'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army'

 'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight'


 Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

 'Arrey O! Main kya..' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'


 Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

 'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'

 'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh' Bush asked.


 'Well, we have two carbines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'

 Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2million since we last spoke.'


 'Oh teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

 Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

 'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne.... .. We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'


 Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'


 'Tera bhala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'

 Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

 'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.'


 'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart'

 'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!'

 NOW THAT'S CALLED PUNJABI CONFIDENCE

24 comments:

Jyothi said...

Ha ha! What a lovely thing to read in the morning! Thanks for sharing!

Insignia said...

Oh my!! That was the best one I have read about Sikhs. I have couple of good Sikh friends. Its somewhat incomprehensible as to why they are made fun of. The Sikhs are so hard working, honest and disciplined.

Anyway, what a way to start my morning . Thanks for sharing.

Renu said...

good humour:)

anilkurup said...

@ Jyothi,

Thanks for dropping by and the comment.
Allow me the liberty of this question, I read your comments in My Travels my life , Balachandran's blog- post "Murderous State ", your comments on the subject seemed insensitive and naive ? You do not look so. But I wonder why you do not think and think , and look things in the face, why do not you throw of the blinkers and the insipid conditioning we all have been subjected in our younger days.

anilkurup said...

@ insignia

The good thing is that even the sardars crack such matters on the sardars.
No offence meant but a bit factual too.

anilkurup said...

@ Renu,

Thanks for the visit and comments.

BK Chowla, said...

Humour at it's best.No Sardar ever objects to any jokes cracked on them . They enjoy those as much.

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

I had read it earlier, but still I enjoyed it again, thoroughly.

Jyothi said...

:) Did you read my comment there properly? I only said that if people find relief in the myth, then let it be! I personally never believed in it! Even though my name was based on this because I was born during this season. I have replied there too!

The Holy Lama said...

Oye changi baat, Balle balle.:D

deeps said...

Good going… that’s some lighthearted stuff …
By the way, don’t forget Tintumon :D

anilkurup said...

@! B.K.Chowla,

Yes you are right Sir, The Sardars enjoy the banter as much as we do even if they are the butt of the joke.

anilkurup said...

@ Arun methalle chirakkal

Yes some light hearted fun can not be boring.

anilkurup said...

@ The holy lama,

Ha at last the Sardar brought forth a visit and omment from you!

Thanks

anilkurup said...

@ Deeps,

Tintumon is a novice , when compared to the Sardar. He has some way to go.

RGB said...

Ha, ha, ha....For a change, "Sardarji" seems to have outwitted the likes of Bush!

Balachandran V said...

one of the best sardar jokes I've ever heard! :D

kaalpanique said...

good one!

anilkurup said...

@RGB
Thanks for the visit and comment after long

anilkurup said...

@ Balan
Yes I guess so

anilkurup said...

@ Kaalpanique

Yes that is a good one indeed

Thommy said...

Liked it mush...

dr.antony said...

That was really good for a change of scene.
Don't you think it was a good,decent and commendable gesture on the part of Jyothi to make such a comment after all those heated arguments?

That is what I call the true blogging spirit.

anilkurup said...

@ doc,
Yes the comment preceded the wrestling. But it is good to argue, debate , discuss. It gets you to opinions that you have never thought about.Only one has to have the maturity to not take things personally offending.