Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A Matter of Charcter


I have not heard about a whole railway passenger compartment being booked in advance for one family. The total members who travelled on the Rajadhani originating in Thpuram and speeding all the way across the paradox called India ,to New Delhi, touched thirty plus. They were off to a Xmas and New Year celebration; call it an en famille sojourn with the youngest sibling and his wife and kids who lived in New Delhi. They even stitched white T-shirts for all to wear on the New Year’s Eve. One of the blokes a good friend of mine got this T-shirt idea as he planned something out of the box to enliven the jamboree. And every one autographed on the t-shirt the other wore on New Year's night. A memorable memorabilia, that memory only can create. It sure must have been a hell of a travel some three thousand kilometres and with six siblings, their spouses, mother and (grand) children.

I mentioned this fascinating train journey to another person, but he was not enthused .I mentioned this as a point to substantiate my contention that there are still families who cherish the oneness and the closeness of being together and are not frivolous. And, is it not a wonderful thing in a world that finds empathy and affection, let alone being together, a nuisance or strange inexplicable words in the lexicon?

He categorically stated that the bonhomie that exists amongst this particular clan is purely because of them all being well in their own choice of living. And character will bare fangs and claws only when situations fall bad for either any of the members. It is a selfish self centred world he emphasised and that expressions of togetherness and affection are superficial. They are always determined by situations that are measured in personal gains and losses.

I did not rebut his opinion, because I sensed that he was talking sensibly with the life that he must have seen on his way in the last six decades of his living.
When I thought more on that, I felt that he spoke with unpleasant candour. And truth always makes a harsh reality of life. Is it not true that situations bring out our true self, in a person?

9 comments:

KParthasarathi said...

Your friend is right.Once differences crop up in wealth,status or alliance to affluent families or where there is divison of property that is perceived as not equitable, all the bondness and bonhomie disappears.Even when there are no such difference, if there is a clash of personalities amongst the distaff side, the relationships suffer after the bonding figure like a mom or dad pass away

....Petty Witter said...

Wonderfully observant stuff.

adithyasaravana said...

I agree with Partha sir. We are not able to bring our brother in law for a family get together which was such natural phenomenon some years ago.

Makk said...

Well, I must say I have a lot learn from you.

on a other note... again its choice of the person who see glass half empty or full.


because both way its truth.

BK Chowla, said...

Living together in a joint family has its own advantages.But, with changing times,privacy must also be recognised

rama said...

Times have changed and we too have changed. It is good to hear that there are still people enjoying being together, maybe for a short while it is okay, but in the long run it may not be possible. Getting along with parents / children itself has become a problem, living with a whole lot of relatives, is surely asking for trouble. Even in olden days when it was the norm to be within the joint family there was always friction, but since times were so, that they could do nothing much about it then, but times have changed the situation too changed and we have adapted ourselves to this new reality.
Still if it works for some people well and good.

NRIGirl said...

More than anything it is the "wave length" that needs to match for any type of get together - family, friends or otherwise - this is from my observations...

Insignia said...

I am honestly surprised myself Anil. Because humans are so complex; we guard ourselves even when in company of one person. To be able to remain together and genuinely liking each other in a group as big as what you mentioned...wow! factor.

Happy Kitten said...

In present times, maintaining relationship is one of the hardest task in life. Even if you go the extra mile, it becomes a futile attempt or it becomes a habit that fits only you. But if such families exists today, I hope they serve as a good example.. but I think it will soon be extinct. In the first place, only a few dare make more than 2 or maybe even 1 child.

and the following is very true..

It is a selfish self centred world he emphasised and that expressions of togetherness and affection are superficial. They are always determined by situations that are measured in personal gains and losses.