Sunday, March 18, 2012

St.Antony , a Story ( Part -II)

                               The Wedding day pic Aug 23

When did I first step into a church? Well memory is very clear here, it was into a Chapel many, many years ago in the convent school run by Carmelite nuns, where I studied in the primary classes. The Chapel is a magnificent Victorian era structure. Though access into the precincts was not free, there were occasions we could be in. It was often that we peeped in through the windows and be amazed by the quietness inside.

Honestly even if there was students from families of various faiths, no separation and difference was felt.  We sang the morning thanks giving song in the assembly with  exuberance and excitement. “Father we thank thee for the night, and for the pleasant morning light…...” We had a parting song in the evening. “Jesus tender shepherd here me….  .”  It was exciting!

I believe, those formative days had immense bearing on me from a tolerant and all inclusive point of view of creation and cosmology. I did not find a necessary distinction based on faith. That I turned out to be an irreligious person in later years may be perhaps a matter of little conjecture, but more of reasons not wasteful.

So it was not an astonishing shock for me that I chose to be confidently around in a church with the woman I fancied marrying. And, I could empathise with her feelings when she expressed the desire while travelling pillion on my bike to pray for a while at the St Antony’s church en route to home one day after a wedding.
However there was no formal proposal to her, going down on my knees yet. Neither did modesty let her. But something told me within as it did to her that we got to live together.

However with two of my close chums (Balan & Sree) rebuking me for what they asserted (and rightly so) as my unparalleled foolishness, I decided to ask her and without delay if I can have her hand. It certainly could be a betise if I walked about on the presumption that she would want to wed me. The whole world almost knew that I wanted to marry a catholic lass- my family, friends and her folks. And quixotically, except the woman that mattered ,the woman concerned!

It was perhaps the longest journey of my life-a journey on a sultry March afternoon, from Cochin to the distant town in Tamilnad some two hundred fifty kilometers away. The dusty town that it is and was then was not relenting at night too. It was quite warm. I checked into a hotel and spent another longest period ever –the longest night! The following morning I would be going to her house (where she lived with one of her sisters). It was then, rolling about in bed that I wondered what if I had been prejudiced about her decision. Presumptions can be awakening painful and panicky too.

March 20- and the Sun took a long while to come up in the east and go further up in the sky. Perhaps the whole world was conspiringly going slow.

Audaciously, I began the chat with her on the assumption that she has accepted to marry me. I did not while sitting across in the chair alone with her in the room, think it was necessary ask her if she would marry me. I assumed that we had decided to be married and began the discussion on our life after wedlock. The little nitty gritty matters that can come up manifested, or be foisted up by the ones around, more because we were from families of two different back ground and faith and many other things I do not recollect what and what not.. Did we chat for an hour? I guess so.

I was to take the night train back and in the evening we found a convenient excuse of walking to the church being a Sunday (I have not seen since, that keenness ever in her to go to church ha!!) We took a long slow, casual, walk. And wished the road was longer!

By then it was intense and clear that the physical law of Nature had played its role. We were attracted because of the forces of gravitation and honestly!!!


Meera Sundararajan said...

This is very interesting... this story of your proposal ( or non proposal?). Strange but I am also married to a Christian-a Syrian Christian from Kerala but somehow the man is anti religious that the churches and chapels that were part of my convent school education somehow do not figure in our lives! I am not a Christian but I find churches very awe inspiring - the cathedrals with their tall spires and stained glass windows. I also love the Kerala Churches with their tiled roofs and the Orthodox traditions. Strange for a Hindu Brahmin, some may say! If this is indeed your story then I think your wedding anniversary is nearing. Therefore advance wishes!

Insignia said...

Ahh another teaser here Anil. You two look gorgeous!

Most times, your command in language or your brilliance in expressing doesnt do any good in such situations. The eyes and the soul does all the talking isnt it

Balachandran V said...

Part-II? Where is Part I? :-/ Give a link somewhere.

Your picture looks like something taken from a '70s Malayalam movie. ( Were I the one who took it? No, don't think so)

It has been a long innings of friendship...

NRIGirl said...

That's lovely! A beautiful story! Wishing the best for the rest...

ousu said...

Anil - I have a strange question or maybe not so strange.. how did you know that she was the one, you are to spend the rest of your life with?? or atleast how does one know that he needs a partner and can't live the life alone?

kavita said...

Yes,where is Part 1 :)
Both of you look so much in love .

anilkurup said...

@ Meera Sundarajan,

Yes indeed a biographical story.
The fact is not many would have the will to ignore trivial matters of faith that it dose not niggle relationships of wedlock.
I see that you and your spouse of this kind , I fancy.
Anniversary is in Aug , but in a way on March 20 th ha. How time flew by!!!

@ Insignia,
You think so B? I don't know . Any way thanks for the sincere expressions.

@ Balan,
The first Post was in December 2011.
I really do not know if you were the one who photographed. If yes, certainly the negatives must be with you.

@ NRIGirl,

Thanks friend. I appreciate your wishes. Value them too.

@ Ousu,

The answer to your questions cannot be in one word or sentence. If confined so one may allege impetuosity.
But to put it briefly as mentioned, "forces of gravitation"!!

@ Kavita,

Ha really?
The part one was posted in December 2011.

Happy Kitten said...

You do tease us with your tales! I hope you end this torture with the entire story before your upcoming wedding anniversary :)

Wish the lovely couple many many more wonderful years.

nd why did you lose your faith :)

....Petty Witter said...

What a lovely picture, you both look so happy.

Interesting post, especially your mention of how there was a lack of any distinctive separation, the differences not felt. Surely this is how it should be, I for one certainly believe the world would be a better place if it were.

anilkurup said...

@ Happy Kitten,
Thanks. It has been a wonderful ride so far and hence reminiscing the past in words on the blog is a good feeling.
When did I lose faith?
Since it is the belief and acceptance of a putative divine power is the question, I think that will need an explanation by itself.And cannot be restricted to a sentence .
However one of my first posts on the Blog,"Why I'm not a Christian" , which you may read if you have nothing much else to do may give you the thought process that made me comfortable the way I'm.

anilkurup said...

@ Petty Witter,

Thanks for the sincere feelings and comments. I value them.

R.Ramakrishnan said...

Part 1 was so long ago that many would have forgotten. Anyway a nice sequel and happy ending. At the end of part 1 of the romance I had little inkling that it was your very own love story. Can we have part 3 a little faster now ?