Monday, August 26, 2013

Innuendo


She said, “I bear no malice to none. I speak forthright and from my heart as a parent who wishes well for children be it mine or another’s”.
Her voice, tone as well as content of the carefully chosen words were laced with apparent honesty and felt candid, sincere.  So it seemed and so it sounded! There was no reason to suspect something amiss and an innuendo.

“I could not bear her boldness, her audacity no more. She, I feel and am convinced has changed much and she is not the same little one I saw, I knew before. And I decided that I must seek you out to tell you that unless you pull her back she will be lost to you, forever”.

I brooded .Such message would be disturbing to anybody who has a child and who is committed to bringing up children. When an observation as disconcerting as it is in such words come from a parent- and that from a single mother who certainly may have felt the lonely agony of bringing up a child, one must take notice. It cannot be malarkey and false. Can it be?

Could it be? Could it not be? Truth and falsehood where distant mirages but I wished the woman was viciously inclined to malign. But yet why must a mother utter such vicious stories of foreboding about another child? A child who was or has been inseparable companion of her own?

Perhaps there were infringements-minor infractions at that, the impetuosity of teens? We have all been through the crisis of teen.

When what later, mercifully not very late turned out to wipe out the foul air and the gathering tempest , the fear- I sighed an immense sigh of relief and wondered why people should be so petty and uncharitable. Good intentions laced with innuendo and exaggeration! An adult, gown up, a mother seeking cheap satisfaction was quite an oddity. To opine on someone who you have not seen for months? It was preposterous. And an uncivil way of evening out the differences children have sometime in their midst.

Who was it who said “It is a wise father that knows his own child”? It was William Shakespeare and here it was the C, who from the moment the unpleasant silly story emanated was an icon of confidence that all was malice and rubbish. Such is the trust she has in her children.

For me, I still believe in the infractions of youth. How can one pass over youthful times without a wee bit of mischief? Well then the borderline, the threshold has to be known and heeded. That is something a parent has to inject in children, not to be heedless.


14 comments:

Meera Sundararajan said...

Don't worry!!! Have faith in your children. You know one of the things that I always dislike are these so called "Good Samaritans" who tell how something should be!! People who genuinely care about your child will not talk like this. I also believe that a person has to earn their right to discipline a child. The number of hours they spend with the child, the things they do for the welfare of the child, all of this go towards establishment of that right ! And such folks will not come to you with a complaint they will talk to the child directly and the child will listen to them because they also know how much this person matters!! All in all, forget it!! The lady is probably jealous of your child's confidence!!

Renu said...

Once you instill the values from the childhood, and not by preaching, but practicing, you have that immovable faith, I have the same and so far they havent dissappointed me...

rudraprayaga said...

Teen is a glass ware which will get disfigured if not cared well, but on careful handling it will reflect bright light.Well-penned.

....Petty Witter said...

I think your last paragraph sums this up for me perfectly. A child who knows when to draw the line (and indeed when the line has been drawn) does not usually go far wrong in my opinion.

KParthasarathi said...

I agree with petty writer. Confidence comes from the knowledge no boundaries have been crossed.Here comes to aid the values instilled by parents

BK Chowla, said...

It is unlikely for those children to go astray those who have had meaningful parental guidelines

Rama Ananth said...

Now a days i see children are much more wiser than us, they can teach a few good things to us. They are aware of all the pros and cons of life.
They have all the necessary knowledge in their finger tips, they are much better than us and our parents. SO I wouldn't worry at all.

Ashwini C N said...

Well said Meera. Anil, I've seen so many people say things which would be incredibly hard to believe. As parents you wouldn't expect other parets to utter such words. Some of them are too bothered about their wards that they forget that every child is precious to his/her parents. And yes, you can only tell a child about what good morals and bad values are. Drawing the line is up to them. If they are well brought up , they will know where to draw the line.

NRIGirl said...

Absolutely! Didn't we all turn out okay?! Our children will too! No doubt about that.

....Petty Witter said...

Stopping by to wish you all the best on your birthday.

Insignia said...

I feel so at peace reading your posts Anil. I am so sorry I couldn't visit your blog space regularly.

We were teenagers and young adults isn't it Anil? Arent we all fine now? Younger generation these days are more realistic and practical.

Happy Kitten said...

Khalil Gibran to be invoked?

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Guess as parent's one just stay rooted and worried too..but be assured that they will be alright.

I will soon be joining this club since our daughter will have to leave us for higher studies :)

Happy Kitten said...

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable

http://www.katsandogz.com/onchildren.html

Usha Menon said...

We must trust our children. We did our duty by instilling good habits in them, but as young adults, what they indulge in, is their prerogative. Just leave them alone. They know better what is good or bad for them.