Friday, October 25, 2013

Vox Populi

He was a man who was born (as some may say) with a little more than normal craving for alcohol. His brother, who was a year younger to him (but they grew up like twins) would in later life recall how one day while they were in the early teen, were sent by their father to supervise the felling and collection of coconuts in the  grove  the family owned. Seeing the master’s young boys the adiyanmar (workers) took extra care in gratification. They served them pure toddy that was tapped at dawn. To the amazement of all the “little big brother” gulped a few pots of the highly stimulating drink and moved about unassuming.. This was astonishing for all because even veteran and seasoned drinkers seldom accomplish that feat in even time and move about without being tiddley.

Later in life, some of the folks who knew him would exclaim that his story was one that of a man who was driven into alcoholism by an impossibly termagant spouse and a marriage that rocked sans peace and quiet. Others would argue that his was the case of excuses to do something he could never resist and his body chemistry was such. Yet some others who knew him and his wife would sigh that she could make a wreck out of a passive and sober man.

Having known him, it will be nigh impossible for one to disagree with the last opinion.


14 comments:

KParthasarathi said...

I do not subscribe to any of the three views."None else compels;ye suffer from yourself"Blame cannot be attached to anyone but himself.Some fall prey to temptation and are unable to exercise moderation.

Shilpa Garg said...

This is very true... First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you! Guess rest are all excuses! :)

Insignia said...

Hmm I often wonder Anil that if man is so weak that he cannot take control of himself or the situation? Resorting to a habit or vice and self destroying oneself due to the misery caused by others is foolish.

anilkurup said...

@KParthasarathi,SG, Insignia

I do agree that it all boils down to oneself.And situations are mere limp reasons to justify self. However this being a piece referred to people I knew, I cannot but say that this was the case of driving a person to desperation. The women here has to be blamed than the tormented man.

Usha Menon said...

It is really a sad ending! Whatever may be the cause wine or woman, it is a fact that a young life suffered and made to 'sleep' forever.

Renu said...

I agree to what partha sir is saying.

An adult has to be responsible for his actions,nobody can compel him..

rudraprayaga said...

Some people attribute their habits to both glory and gloom.It is a matter lacking self-control.That coconut felling and collecting sent me to my lovely village.Nice.

Rama Ananth said...

Blame no one, for you are the architect of your own destiny. Everything else are mere excuses. Women too suffer, do every woman take to alcohol/smoking/ drugs and waste away their lives saying so and so were responsible for her doom?
Accept that men are weak and most men are prone to such vices, and they are also prone to blaming others for their downfall.

anilkurup said...

@ Usha Menon/@remu/@rudraprayag/@rama ananth

Indeed one's destiny is more of one's making . And it is nonsense to blame someone as in this case.
The man took the easy way out from an acrimonious marital life. Call it cowardice, inept,and self defeating or weak.
The fact as Rama Ananth mentioned remains stark. Men are by disposition weak and minus the brawn they are dependent on women.

I remember, when I mentioned something on similar lines in a blog post sometime ago a fellow blogger was very offended and incensed that she called me MCP literally, and ceased coming into my blog.

Tracy Terry said...

My guess is probably a combination of all three and very likely much more. I'm wondering if this couple could have worked together to resolve their issues.

Ashwini C N said...

People might have their own views, but as far as alcoholism is concerned, It shows the absence of discipline and will power, to take it to the point of addiction.

Meera Sundararajan said...

I think blaming the spouse is usually the easiest thing to do. People become alcoholic because of their inability to deal with a situation or a problem. I agree with Ashwini!

Happy Kitten said...

The weaker gender is not really the weak? As one pointed out, they stand strong when the partner abuse himself with drugs, alcohol or bad company. When the woman is strong, the least the man can do is become stronger to match her!

anilkurup said...

@ Tracy ( Petty Witter)/C.Ashwini/Meera Sundraajan/Happy Kitten

No, there was no way. The best thing for the man was to get a separation. But perhaps the social frown on a divorce and stigma that was common those days may have stopped him. Knowing this woman, I will have to say that even if one agree that the man was incapable of dealing with situations, she was a cantankerous person who could wreck any man. This is not a statement of male chauvinism.