Friday, September 2, 2011

Koffe ,Tea or Me?


  

“Koffee with Karan”, a highly rated programme on international affairs, one would guess hearing the name and the viewership ratings. I happened to watch it by default once and a couple of times later. And I do not know why after those few watching I developed an allergy to coffee, a kind of anaphylactic shock if even I smell coffee. I presume that is being not in sync.

Nevertheless the damn programme is comical, an insipid one at that. The questions this man Karan Johar asks the giggling lass from Bollywood with high hem line and fascinating cleavage, who sits with one leg over the other adding to the attraction of the questions and the programme and sometimes the bloke who joins her, her boy friend or ex friend are apt for an orgy party. But goodness, a better selection of subjects and questions that are humorous and tasteful will be handled by a primary school kid. But then the guy is a gargantuan director of box office hits. And it is slated to be a programme in genre of “Breakfast with Frost”.

Questions generally asked tongue in cheek and with muted anticipation, for instance, “Tell me Amisha when and how you got over the crush for the little Kapoor?". Or,"Malika which part of Saif’s anatomy would you recommend”? Or still, “Abhishek do you think Salman was screwed up for life by his ex girlfriend”? And while the question is asked we have the beaming Aiswarya holding the still dyslexic Abhishek who grins agape, fumbles and then laughs, before heedfully autographing the coffee mug.

People love it, so people produce it and the Channel airs it. Fair democracy! If one watches it, it is because one likes it. And if I do not like it I should not watch it.

But what do you say about the most populated virtual realm in the world, the Face book?
 I’m a Face booker too. I realised a few months ago that the woman with whom I've been living with has suddenly decided to be my friend. I was aghast, wondered was it a kind of “one night stand”, that I was having for the past every night of the last twenty three years? That she was unfriendly and stranger to me, that she now is disillusioned with her vileness self and asked to be my friend. It was depressing and nauseating, a few Valium tablets would have alleviated the stress! But then it was funny to think of. "Face book" has revolutionised and recast the very definition of the word "friend”!

And today I found a post on my wall in the fb, “XYZ has answered the questions about Anilkumar”, i.e. me. Interesting I thought for a moment. It is always good to anticipate that someone has only good answers to questions about you. I patted my back before I began reading the questions and the answers.

And here are the questions and the answers about me. Mercifully some are rightly”Yes” and some are rightly “No”. I give the special ones that came close to making my life miserable ha!

1-              1-Do you think that Anilkumar will sleep with a teddy bear?
2-             2-  Do you think that Anilkumar has ever had a one night stand?
3-            3-  Do -  you think that Anilkumar can run a mile without stopping?
4-            4- Does Anilkumar sing in the shower?
5-            5-   Have you ever had a crush on Anilkumar?
6-            6-  Do you think Anilkumar has crush on you? The questions 5 & 6 are the most lewd questions if that                        
       is to be answered by a guy who is Gay. Ouch doomed I'm!
   7- Do you think Anilkumar is showered today?
   

20 comments:

Kalpana said...

The program is God damn crazy. Most importantly those dames who use such artificial language and even their expressions so contrived. I watched the promo of Saif and Kareena’s episode and I can never forget the way this lady addressed Saif…’Saifuuuuuuuuuuuuu!.

I must share that I also found very similar post on my FB wall and the most interesting part was that the friend who had asked those questions was one of uncle’s (who is in my friends list).  it is so weird.

Sukanya said...

Good one. :-)

Shilpa Garg said...

Hilarious Post!!Very valid observations of Koffee with Karan!! But it's there coz there is an audience for it!!
And these applications on FB... well, weird is the word, you may like to check some more of them here...
http://shilpaagarg.blogspot.com/2010/03/weird-is-word.html

NRIGirl said...

Couldn't help laughing out loud reading about C becoming your FB friend. I have befriended Israel too. Don't you know it is only to keep an 'eye' on you guys online?!

kavita said...

ROFL ! KWK got very boring and predictable in it's last season .About FB applications , i saw this question on one my around 70 yrs old professor's( a male) wall - do you think XYZ looks good in bikini ?Another neighbor of mine with whom i rarely talk sent me friend request which i had to accept .He is sending me 'bear hugs' everyday since then ..lol.

Juxtaposition said...

The program is so down right silly. I watch it for the comic factor. Its all made up and rehearsed and completely artificial. Just like a masala Bollywood movie. :)

An advice, never click on such things that gets posted on your FB wall. Applications can be harmful to your account. :)
About the wife being a friend on FB, I would say, even if you live with someone your whole life, there might still be things that you don't know about them. Silly and simple things like Facebook likes and posts. :D

....Petty Witter said...

I so want to know the answer to question 1, do you sleep with a teddy bear?

Bikramjit said...

I an not much impressed by that program , dont watch it at all.. and putting in genre with breakfast with frost is a insult to the latter...

And answers to your questions well do you really want ot know he he he he :)

and I hate the FB thing of people answering questions.. people who dont even know me are put up there.. thats why i hardly go on FB .. :)
do i sound a hater of everything here ...

Bikram's

Insignia said...

Karan Johar irritates me; his program further.

The way these so called high-class celebrities bitch and throw their price!

Facebook? Thats the only place everyone can be friends from maid to wife to kids to enemy!

A said...

I love coffee but NOT with Karan. He should stick with movies. :))))

dr.antony said...

This was the question I used to ask the nurses at my hospital!
I forgive the thieves.

Yes I know Anilkumar.He sleeps with a teddy bear and he left it home!

anilkurup said...

@ Kalpana,

Yes you are indeed right. KwJ is stupid, silly, nonsense and has more acting and gimmicks than the bollywood production itself. It is a miserably make believe .

And the f's questions and the other gimmicks are child's play that can become another cyber perversion.


@ Sukanya,

Thanks


Shilpa Garg,

Yes SG Koffe with that fellow is on the air because it sells and there is viewership. We only discussed the programe. Let people see if they want to. I'll check the blog site.


@ NRIgirl,

Yes I think all you women got together and plotted against men. That is how that boy Sucberg cobbled Face book ha .


@ Kavita,

Bear hugs! You know bears are in the endangered list. This bear is in danger to itself or others is the question . ha . Take care about the predators on the prowl in Face book.


@ Juxtaposition,

This application in FB you know is not a link. It is just a part of it. And I wonder if there will be something interesting to know from fb about someone you have been physically with for a few decades.

The only way to know something more about someone you know is to go anonymous, a cloak and dagger mission ha.

@Petty Witter,

Doc Antony has let the cat out of the bag, that I sleep with a teddy bear. ha!


@ Bikramjit,

Now don't ask me more questions that I do not know the answer .
No, your opinion is well in sync. I guess the word is not hate , it is dislike at the disgust.


@ Insignia,
I wonder how people are fascinated to hear and watch the self acclaimed divas from bollywood do. Does it make any sense for the grey matter? a well orchestrated nonsense.

Ye fb friendship is a new concept, well sold. But this stupid questions are sissy.


@ A,

I dislike coffee as I said after watching the silly programe.

@ Doc Antony,

I now see that you dislike my popularity that you are throwing innuendos to spoil my glamorous reputation!!!!

Mélange said...

Hahaha.. Bizarre world.But we have Choices. (can't stop laughing.Thanks)

anilkurup said...

@ Melange,

Yes mercifully we have choices. Not exactly Orwellian where one has no options but drink the goddamn coffee

Balachandran V said...

Having never been fortunate to witness the programme, I cannot comment. But then, I consider myself quite fortunate that I do not have such inclination at all!

Guess it takes all kinds of people to make up this world...

Chintan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chintan said...

how the hell did i not know about your blog :) i like koffee with karan for all the cheesiness :D and i liked your article for the wit but what i loved most was -->

1-Do you think that Anilkumar will sleep with a teddy bear?

:D

anilkurup said...

@ Chintan,

Welcome and thank you for coming to my Blog. I wish some one will gift me a teddy bear .

Ruprekha said...

Had a good laugh reading your post, I don't watch that program but decided to watch at least once now, curiosity :)to watch Karan hurl those questions at the Bollywood blokes.
Very true,difficult to decipher the meaning of 'friend' in Face book, the best part is whole lot of people can be friends, but you can 'unfriend' anyone anytime you wish, find it very funny.
Loved visiting your blog, it's wonderful with such variety of topics.

anilkurup said...

@ Ruprekha,

Thank you for the visit. Hope you will be around for regular interactions.