Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Road Not Taken

Delusion’, the dictionary says is a belief in an unfounded idea or opinion. And hallucination is described as an illusory perception or a mental disorder.

That probably points towards one direction many of us are afflicted by a grave mental disorder. We dream but we do not relinquish the dream as a dream, a fantasy, but get snowed under and ridden over by the idea, the opinion, and the illusory perception of it being real. We, late into the drama, finally cease to believe that it is an illusion. A mirage we have been after! Damn fools!

Bitter sweetness of the citrus turns sour inside out. The pod, the flesh all sour!

Reminds me of the proverbial story of the obstinate primate, who refuses to let go his purchase and continues to be held in the vice. The shackles, the chains that we let grow around our hands and feet, like the toxic creeper, entwine us, immobile, rooting us into illusion. And we still refuse. For they say have hope. But hope is when we let us be unbound by the shackles that tether us. Isn’t it?  

Relationships, burdens, commitments fostered by relationships, social etiquettes enforced by conditioning! What if we had refused to be cowed down by conventions and the orthodoxy, but embrace the vast horizons of being heterodox? Society may frown, may take pot-shots, snarl and dismiss us as pariah and incorrigible .So what. Must we care a hoot? Man, it’s our life and we have the right to use it the way we like. Or from the obverse point, abuse it the way we want. But trepidness  ruin  life that can never be regained, or redrawn! Paradise lost from being blind.

But alas, now, it is more than a trifle late for the dawn of realisation and enlightenment, for disillusion to eclipse the apparition.

It is no wonder, intelligent have observed that if there is Kingdom of Heaven and Paradise it is here in this life and within you. And it awaits only the ones who show the hubris, the courage to go beyond the boundaries of conventions. Isn’t it? And now there isn’t any common sense in crying over spilled milk and bygones.

It is not running away from life like 'The monk who sold his Ferrari', but living the life in full the way we feel. You fall dead at forty and if you have lived life that you wanted, there will be contentment for the soul than a life till the rickety eighties and squeeze inexorably into a ramshackle coffin (more often someone will have to carry you to put you in there), and lie like a goddamn fool  cold and shivering  in a damp subterranean pit looking into nowhere and dumb indeed dumb! And that, “shit I messed with a good chance of life”.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the under growth.

Then took the one just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no steps trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
took the one less travelled by
And that made all the difference.
Robert Frost


Insignia said...

What made you write this now? Any self realization?

Deep down; yeah we all want to take the road less traveled; do that, do this...and then the reality hits us. Commitments, work, responsibilities...blah blah blah

Instead of quenching the thirst; we just kill the thought.

NRIGirl said...

I feel like I was being yelled at! :)

Mélange said...

While reading the second paragraph,what suddenly caught me was a visual/idea from the film 'Guru'(of Rajiv Anchal).The community of blinds,the way they practice pouring kind of fruit juice into the eyes of newly born,a custom they follow so dearly.All remain blind.They suffer,they cry,still they believe in what they are practising.Not knowing the syrup makes them blind.In fact the film was sharing a bitter truth,how we embrace dark as a part of custom and tradition.That applies to all aspects of our life.

You know Anil,why I admire people like you ? Most of the so called 'matured middle-aged' people from our region,suddenly goes into a cocoon after 35 and start chanting the same old judgements and ideas boasting their 'maturity' part.Such people have this tendency to hide or intentionally forget things which you have scribed here in this post.I absolutely appreciate this one.

And yes Anil,that path we may choose to prove our life,with a passion of our own,it may be hard.It may not bring us usual happiness we'see 'around.Yet I love to live my own life.

Cheers !

anilkurup said...

@ Insignia,

Self realisation?

Certainly. But an opinion in retrospect is a good as putting the cart before the horse or even like bolting the stables once the animal has run afar. We are so bound by what is dangled in front, the transient things, that we do not search for the body of water to quench, but kill the thought of thirst as you mentioned.

@ NRIGirl,

Did I yell at you? I thought I was yelling within.

@ melange,
yes I remember the movie "Guru".

And maturity is not synonymous with age. I have sen a few kids who are far immaculate for their age, much matured than we the oldies. And many geriatrics as dumb as dumb can be. Because they have not opened their eyes to life and what life held for them.
Oh ya disillusionment, who can foresee? The road not taken!

Kunal said...

Sir..I like this post..you make so much sense...very much like what I believe in!!

....Petty Witter said...

As always a thought-provoking post, I loved the verse you finished with.

kavita said...

Never too late to take the road less traveled,i think .

anilkurup said...

@ Kunal,

Agree? I wonder if you would ever know what went through my mind and what prompted me to scribble this.

@ Petty Witter,

Thanks. I love the poem of Frost. Its too beautiful to not keep loving it.

@ Kavitham

No, I'm afraid its late now. The courage and the mind is found wanting, though the heart yearns.

Bikramjit said...

but why wonder about that now.. its gone .. are we not delving too much into what has happened and somehow spoiling the present or maybe the future too..

maybe time is now to realise that whats gone is gone and today we look at BOTH the roads with more Thought and chose wisely and then Go boldly :)


Shilpa Garg said...

Very profound and thought provoking!! Despite we wanting to take the road less traveled, it's difficult to take that first step and that makes the difference!!

anilkurup said...

@ Bikramjit,

There is always times and everyone does that,, a look behind over the shoulders. It is only one such. What could have been a different avenue of life if one had shown the courage to be not one in the crowd!
No brooding over what could have been.

@ Shilpa Garg,

yes SG the courage was missing. Too much of conditioning and conventions that decide ones life.

Rachna said...

Coming here from NRIGirl and pleasantly surprised by your post. You do raise pertinent questions. I also wonder what I would have done had I not taken the road travelled by all. Sometimes, one longs to break the shackles perhaps because one has been there and done that. I know of people who have done what their heart desires and now long for the monotony of a routine family and job. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side :).