Sunday, October 7, 2012


It is often a fact that men harbour lecherous fantasies and intentions more than women do I think so even if someone disagrees with my contention. It is however not untruth that women do not have imaginary or real time liaisons outside wedlock.

Woman as a rule may show predilections for amorous affairs with a man who gives her a sense of security, which can be both financial and emotional or either. Men on the contrary are still in the realm of beasts where financial trappings and emotions play a lesser role when it comes to libertine ways. This is my take from the experiences of the past many years and I do not think I must have to specifically quote any novelette to argue my point

Lamia is married to a wealthy man and the mother of two. She hails from a conservative religious society. But she is dressed impeccably modern and ravishing. She can by simply strolling by, taut the neck of any man, how so ever monogamous and of piety. She is tall, with flowing dark hair and wheaty complexion. She speaks well but accented English and Punjabi flavoured Hindi and Urdu. She drives around in a Toyota sports utility. The few occasions I happened to chat with her I could not resist impressing upon her subtly and politely how I was awed by her feminine beauty. She must be in her late twenties or very early thirties.
Albeit the tag of bored and disillusioned housewife as the cliché goes did not suit her countenance, when the story of her uncontrollable amour and lust was narrated to me in the first person, I was more devastated out of jealousy than out of genuine amazement or shock which only exasperated further when it sunk into me that, for she fell for a man of vapid taste and intellect, a man who can torture you with ennui in his company.
I need not have to doubt his narration, for a day previous I heard her on the speaker of his Black Berry, plead with him in Hindi.”Kal ka plan pakka hai, or naheen?” He said, "abhi thak confirm karney ka mushkil.”She was furious at the other end, “if that is so, I will be in your office tomorrow morning. Mein udhar baitteyga. Until you say yes and come with me.”

Further, his explicit narration of their togetherness till almost day break- driving around the town, sneaking into a pub for beer, schnapps and gin tonic; buying their seat in a cinema and being cuddled, fondling and stimulating mutually in its dark environs when the movie went on for the sparse late night movie goers. All was too disdainful and an insult to my ego who would not agree that I ‘m a lesser candidate for such liaison than he was.

He was rather disillusioned when she was unwilling to leave him at almost day break. She wanted him to swear that he would go with her to the ends of the world. He tried to deflect the matter by reminding her she was proclaiming the impossible and when she had  husband and kids. But, he found her tenacious than a limpet. She trivialised her husband and was not keen about the kids either. She told him that money was not an issue with her and she would not mind leaving the man and children. For she was yearning and craving for a life that did not deprive her of happiness and companionship! She stated that after years since her wedding day she found happiness and comfort in that nocturnal excursion with him. And she wants to ensure that the moon stays in her grasp.

To debate about the psychology and thought of this emancipated, educated and wealthy woman is not my forte or intention. There is not great pleasure in a holier than thou plateau either. But it does make me wonder if the moral picket fences we have are imaginary hurdles with taboos as barbed wires, seldom capable to restrain or resist the primeval infatuations human beings are disposed too, be it man or woman. The waters that beckon with the tranquility and the seeming air of pleasure are often mirages and treacherous!

Did I not mention when I began this that men harbour lecherous fantasies and would desist if it dawns that a long term commitment beyond carnal pleasure outside wedlock threatens?


Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

To tell you the truth, I didn't have any clue where it was leading when I read the opening lines. I even found your view a bit ‘biased’. I’m kind of relieved now. All I can do is to empathise with you, your jealousy is, well, quite understandable. :)

Happy Kitten said...

Think for a few their appetites are pretty high irrespective of gender... while many would try and control, many dont. It depends on the circumstances. Here this lady cares nothing for her Husband or even her children while this wouldnt be the case for many others. Some would at least show restraint for the sake of her children. But it is always the misadventures of a lady that gets noticed though :)

adithyasaravana said...

I started to read this with a smile, but then when I wanted to put my thoughts I become a little cautious..there is something as to what I project myself and what actually I am..happens many times to many of us. But every pleasure comes with a rider..what matters is how we want our life to be.. Am I confusing or confused myself.

Insignia said...

I see another dimension here. A power-lady consumed by this one man who is yet to give in. Its a challenge to her; to get the near impossible done. You know women can be like that. Once he bites the dust; you never know; she might look for a tougher challenge :)

Meera Sundararajan said...

I was a bit confused about who narrated this to you. I think men get a kick about narrating their sexual exploits while women may be more discreet. About married women and their affairs- well unhappy people always look for other options. In her case she is obviously unhappy. But then as you say men can separate the physical and emotional which women unfortunately find difficult to.

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Shilpa Garg said...

Married women and their affairs, could be due to unhappiness in their life... but there are married women who like that intoxicating and powerful feeling of men falling for them!
Whatever it is, it spells doom, sooner or later!

anilkurup said...

@ Arun Meethale Chirakkal,

Ha , your empathy is not going to help me .

@ Happy Kitten,

The misadventures of women get noticed because in matters of sex men are having loud mouths.As it has been noticed here. Restraint is a faculty that man has been fortunate to possess, but it is often not used when it is a must.

@ AdityaSaravana,

No you are not confusing or confused.

@ Insignia,

You got it right, "power lady". the male here is only a fox with one intention , have as many hens as he can , no commitments , nothing beyond.

@ Meerasundarajan,

As I mentioned in my comment above, the first person male , here is a man who revels in thumping his chest and narrating the minute explicit details even. He is not a boy but a man in his early forties. It is often annoying that I feign much consumed in work when he comes to me so that I do not have to be snowed by envy nor be bored by his narration of his adventures the day before.

@ Shilpa Garg,

Yea true. Do not know what is the reason here . All that is known is her views in his words.

....Petty Witter said...

Interesting that you use the words 'imaginary or real time liaisons outside wedlock' as to lots of women affairs of the mind are just as harmful as sexual affairs. I'm not too sure that the same can be said of most men.

rama said...

Looks like the movie "Fatal Attraction".
Such people finally end up miserable, and become psychos. It is dangerous when all fun goes out of such relationship.

Haddock said...

Like Insignia said "she may look for a tougher challenge after the first conquest"

sujata sengupta said...

I think affairs get easy after marriage than before, strange but true. A lot of women feel they have gained adulthood, and a sense of freedom that they can misuse, once they get married. And of course, to an extent, the husband is to blame too. Stop taking your wife for granted. listen to her, be with her, do things together. Indian marriages have a lot of undesirable space between the couples which in a way lead to such things. All said and done, some people just do what they do, I guess :)

anilkurup said...

@ Petty Witter,

Imaginary, is the word by selection . I used it because it cannot be disputed that there are no man or woman who may not have fornicated in fantasy.

Yes I guess so. The appetite and zest wanes out in due course and that is when often troubles brew.

@ Haddock,

Probable and possible too.

@ Sujata,

I cannot disagree with you.

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