A Chat

Radhika , my daughter connected with me on the NET today and had a long chat. She presumably was on an outing from school and was accessing net from a Cafe.She is in twelfth doing her ISC at the "Pallikoodam" run by Mrs Mary Roy,( Arundati Roy's mother). Well that has nothing to do with my accolades or brick bats for Ms Roy ( junior).

The chat slid into the talk of the country , 'Anna Hazare" .And I felt  the excerpts would be some interesting light into an young mind. I did some editing to delete things concerning other matters and home .The rest are posted as it was typed out by us.

(Atcha is Mallayalam for Father).

Atchoooooooooo!!!!

Yes Radhu?

Hw R u?

Im ok , hw abt U?

Im fine too. I just gt over wth my exams. Hv 1 mor left, bt thats a stupid one.

Hw was the exams?

Was fine.. history was vry bad... literature wasn’t gr8 either, the rest were fine... gud ...can say.

Ummm ha ur usual answer!

But Cmon I did study properly

Oh im not denying that monkey

Hmnn, so hw is it there?

Pullin on

Whn r u cmn?

Cant say nw. Did u call Cabbage ( pseudonym fr C)and ur bro?

Nope I wl after this hv to search fr a phn booth. Atcha whts the blog u have and hw do I gt into?

Anilkurup59.blogspot.com or anilkurup musings search in Google

I thnk ha I got it . Ow u wrote on Amma in ur anniversary blog!! Well  I was just wondering, hv u heard abt this man Anna Hazare?and his issue?

Yes I did, my last post was abt that.

Do u support him?

Yes I support the cause.Its long overdue. But wht will com out of the struggle, I’m not quite sure.

Heheheh ...I thnk the man is mad... and  is drvng the country crazy too!!!

Why do u say so?

Bcoz ... initially I do agree thst he was fghtng against corruption!! But nw ..he is just getting too much into the media.and his fast is stupid.!!

He is not . the media is after TRIP ratings. They want to catch money frm viewership.

His demands ...cnt b accepted by any government bcos its stupid .

It is not . it is bcos the govt is hell bend upon supporting the looters and do no want any law to stop that.

Asking the judiciary to be under the Lokpal.not acceptable!!we hv an independent judiciary, and he cannot stop that curb!!

There are certain things in the janalokpal that I would say is impractical or need wider discussion.that dosen’t mean that u should trivialise the whole cause.and demands as stupid . The judiciary will be independent as it is supposed now. Only that the allegations of corruption against judicial officers will be dealt under Lokpal.Radhu, now u need permission  of the thief to investigate a case against the thief..

Atcha, the whole India, those lakhs of people supporting!!Him?? are hypocrites!!every single person

  there is corrupt and they themselves are voicing against corruption. See.. the whole procession.. is based on lies and hypocrisies!!  And on Arundati’s article ouch!!  Thats why Im against him.

Yes we all r corrupt. That is the sad thing abt the country. We support Hazare and his cause and at the same time will bribe an official to get something done fr us. Wht is the alternative ? thnk and tell me .

See thats why , - make truthful and conscientious  people fight... and he will have no hypocrits and supporters at all.stop corruption at all levels. May be corruption will decrease!! But there will always b corruption. Its inevitable . Cant shoo it away forever and clean.

U said that Radhika! Stop corruption at all levels, Can u do that in ur life time? Will U?

I will try.

Try. How great atry?”so..so”,medium, or sincere?

Every one shud do that sincere.

It shud not be a small time promise.May be if u could ur children wl hv abetter life!

Yes certainly.

Yes i thnk I will trust ur words.

Yes

But Imay not be around to see that. Its going to be a long while.

Thats sad atcha, sad thing.. but Ill make sure things will be more peaceful.oh u have written on Arundati’s article.

Yep that was the last one after the post on the anniversary.

Nice, fr the first time she is wth us... our opinion!! He hehe. Anyway.

No on the contrary u r not wth her opinion

No Im nw wth her on this.

Analyse her opinion dnt idolise someone whether Ms Roy or Mahatma Gandhi.

Hmmm..well let me tell u and one of the reason ..why I dnt like Anna ‘s movement...he has a picture of Gandhiji behind him..well terrible.. he cannot compare himself with  Gandhiji. And he used Gandhiji as a tool to get supporters.

If someone has the picture of Christ , Vishnu or Siva with them does that mean that they are comparing themselves wth the gods?

Well atcha everyone is comparing him wth Gandhi and so is he.

Yes he is doing wht Gandhi did- satyagraha fast and all.to taunt the government to take action against him or agree to the demands of the people.

Whn Kiran Bedi said ..that Anna is India .. I felt like he would come to power and rule over India.. and India would become a totalitarian stste. Gandhi and Anna wht a contrast!!

Kiran Bedis statement was an aberration al apse in the heat of excitement. She is different.

Well Gandhiji wasn’t a hypocrite. Atcha this man is ... didn’t u hear him threaten the government?He did hv the RSS link.. yes. ?

I gues yes. In his earlier days.But he has no links now.

Hmmmn..nobody can prove  that!!Anyway it is 11 th day into the fasr. Hw is he surviving?

You know Radhika, this guy called Bobby Sands , in the 1970’s , he was an IRISH Republican Army man in Northern Ireland. He fasted to protest the British policies in Northern Ireland. He died after more than a hundred day into his fast. He died of starvation and anemia. So 11 days is not great , though fr an old man like Anna it will take its toll.

Okay!!!U know Mrs Roy , the Principal. She is sometimes difficult lady. Why?

She never listens .. to others.. any1 against her opinion , she shoos them away!!

Some people r like that. I guess Arundati Roy too has got some of that.

But then she is the only sensible woman in school. But fr her the school would be a concentration camp.!!!

Ha ha!! As ususal u hv a problem wth women teachers .At the Laidlaw too u had the same difficulty.

Hehehe!!Oh atcha .. red the book ..”To Killa Mocking Bird” or seen the movie? Of Harper lee. Its noice the father charcter reminds me of u!!

Yes I did watch the movie who reminds u of me?

Atticus , the father

Idnt remember the character. What abt that and me?

His character, behaviour and the actor who did the role.. so much.. has a resemblance of u.

Behaviour, what did he do ?

OMG forget it atcha.Lol any way there ius this book Sonia Gandhi wrote abt Rajiv. I must read it

Ha u changed the subject.There is no great to read abt them. Honest!

Heheheh, why u so against them?Why?

I’m not against them. There iwas nothing really good or bad abt RajivGandhiOnly that he was stupid.

You mean visavis the tamil tigers?Who is not stupid according to u?every one is!nope Rajiv was affine PM uknowlol!!We’ll hv this debate later.

In all that he did while being PM he showed he was foolish, without ideas and even the Bofors he got stupidly implicated. He was silly.fella!!

OH that u. Im very much fr the Gandhis’cant help it.Oh atcha did u watch the TV show devils advocate?its so interesting!lol

U watched it Karan Thaper’s?

Yes Karn Thapers.

U have tbe well researched and knowledgeable to interview people like Thapar.

I know!! He intwd Aravind Kejerwal and PRasnth Bhushan... was so great.. we cud not study but watch lol  !!

Wht did u feel abt Prasanth Bhushan?

He is part of the tem Anna!!So hmm... nothng much abt him.

Yes but what is ur opinion abt him after watching the programme?Did he make any sense?

Wellwell ... it make me change my views no.

It made u change or not, wht is it abt Prasnath Bhushan?dod u see him honest?

I did see him on the show, he didn’t really say much . It was Aravind Kejerwal doing the talking. Maybe I can research on him and tell u

I see and abt Aravind Kejerwl?

I”M NOT FOR TEAM ANNA.......SO MY VIEWS AREAINST HIM MY DEAR FATHER!!!!got to go now . must call amma too bye atcha luvvuuuuuuuu

Ok da bye lvuuu

August 23,1988

We exchanged exactly one hundred letters each, by post, beginning the first of April 1988.We would not rest in comfort if a day passed by without the postman calling.  Telephone calls were an expensive alternative those days, nevertheless was also unremittingly used. And on July 31.1988 we mutually decided to restrain from writing or phoning any further. We were married on August 23, 1988 in Cochin. The letters are safely kept in (“brown paper packages....tied up with strings, and these are the few of our favourite things”)! I have not read any since, but she did a few times and when she read out, I felt shy of what was written. It was and was not sweet nothingness we exchanged, I can only tell that much.

We happened to spent one night in the same apartment in different rooms almost six years before we actually met .It was 1982 and I was   in Chennai. Those days were soon after I was employed. I was quite drunk after an official dinner and had to spend the night with her brother in her apartment. But knowing that women folk were there I slid out early in the morning as I was a trifle ashamed of the drunken ruckus I and her brother created the night before outside the apartment with a auto rickshaw driver. We later met, first while I was living in Cochin and she came over for a brief vacation to her brothers. The brief acquaintance evoked  mutual fondness, a “may be”, a “can be” feeling. She ensured that she came down to Cochin a few months later for the marriage of one of mine and her brothers’ close friend. She later confided that the trip was not ostensibly for participating in the wedding!

 And strangely indeed I always felt that she would not turn down if I proposed to her and she says she knew I would propose. Stupid cupid I was, that I even announced at home that I intend to marry her, the little sister of two fellows to whom fatefully I was near to. That was even before I proposed to her or gathered the courage to place my intent before her brothers’. But at home among my folks the seemingly ordinary choice was outrageous because she was catholic. An unimaginable ignominy for a clan that has not had to live with such audacity in living memory! It was a pleasant surprise to my friends and many others and took a while to settle.

But soon enough the end was pleasant as the Mills &Boon closing, “they married and walked happily hand in hand into the sun set”. Story ends. Good luck! 

Scene –II

And now musing over back into the years that went by with sighs,agony,ecstasy,torments,helplessness,courage,standoffs,   short lived minor emotional estrangements,contentment, besides tolerance and patience of Christy, we have now reached today the twenty third wedding day! And I guess this is our first anniversary that we are living apart by physical distance(!)

Was there dreams that were shattered? Yes. Hopes ploughed under? Yes. Moments and days of bliss and happiness? Many. It is quite true that the difficulty marriage burdens are because when in love one loves the personality, the facade, but in married life it is the character that looms large. Courtship dances and show-off are meant for avian and not man. I remember taking care in not displaying a contrived colourful personality of chivalrous, impeccable nobility. And as for Christy, she luckily for me has been a genre apart from her kin!

The adage “two bodies and one soul” is rubbish and misleading in every sense. It was two distinct individuals who lived together, two entities with sometimes disparate likings and dislikes. I’m not sure that she loved my tantrums and prankish behaviour or she put up with to begin loving it.

We had absolutely no difficulty in coping with surroundings of different family environs. Towards  her, my immediate kin was as affectionate as our conditioning and lineage was not meant to be different. And as for me, every one amongst Christy’s family understood, is amenable but may not appreciate insolence.

Did the intrusion of religion come in to play any part? Certainly not, even an iota! Christy is of different hue; she was equally at ease in matters of social and religious etiquette. Both of us are comfortable with any religious activity that is not frenzied. Though more than her, I'm a disbeliever who is convinced about the frivolity of believing..She is not a church goer in the conventional sense. She is convinced that God can be accessed not only within the confines of a church/temple or through organized hypocrisy and one can be in communion with  he or she even in one's home and perceive  in the good things around. I might sometimes have to virtually  push her on to the road to St Peters!  She has done more temple visits than one can count. Hilarious of which was her journey to the Guruvayoor temple where she went with a family friend and exclaimed loudly at something that amazed her, “Goodness Christ”. Knowing the bigotry practised there, fortunately no one over heard to create unpleasantness.

However there is one aspect in us both that is unhelpful  for gregarious living. We are not naturally disposed to creating social circles. The result is we both have a limited band of friends. In fact more than any of hers, it is my friends who are her as well.

Today, sitting alone, I can only more than anything be perplexed and  dismayed of  her character that bears no ill towards even the ones who hurt her, have been unkind and deceitful. Something I will never understand even if as the nonagenarian astrologer told my mother that  we are destined to be Man and wife for another six lives.

An Observation-

Observation is an art perfected by artists of different hues. To lesser mortal like me that is a quality farthest from the personal chemistry. The observation that some of my kind has perfected from days when we graduated into trousers was to look agape at the lass that pass by, (Though in my case subtly, I do not believe in offensive gander).And in any case that is not the observation I thought about.

Being away on travel, though was not strange to me, living in a foreign land and in a society which, compared to my origins is culturally like wine and water, is an alien experience. So that in itself gives ample for watching, understanding and inferring. It is only when you pass through a society or live in its midst, which has not had  culture or traditional values that survived and helped the society or a nation to build, that one realises the fortune we Indians for example are bestowed with and enjoy. It can be a value that may be an offshoot of a certain religion or a political system, or just simple nihilist living. But sometimes what that you believe or that is imposed on you in itself – it can be a religion or a political ideology may constrict you, domineering and defile centuries of tradition and refinement.

Look towards Tibet .The culture of Tibetans have been usurped. Centuries old monasteries that were repositories of Tibetan culture were lost forever. The great march of Mao Tse Tung eliminated the great part of Chinese tradition. The Bolsheviks did their gory part in Russia. The wealth of Alexandria, the greatest asset bequeathed to humanity from the Ptolemy of Egypt was finally lost to the marauding Muslim fanatics in the 6 the century BC. Afghanistan and its tribal heritage along with the remnants of a pacifist way of life “Buddhism” vandalised by fanaticism and bigotry only exhibited by one solitary faith in the modern world. The world’s oldest city Damascus and the city of Jerusalem are now hostage to outlandish religious philosophies. American native Indians lost forever priceless wisdom and way of existence of life in harmony with nature they brought down from centuries, to the great thought of the western world, “Democracy”. The examples are many.

I wonder if this will be disputed.

What the West affectionately term as the “Arab uprising” is nonsense. And that cannot spread or happen as they wish. For any social revolt there needs to be an atmosphere that sees people as one. Fortunately for Egypt there must still be centuries old of culture that predated the usurpation by Islam. That was what unified the country and brought forth change. It will not happen in countries and societies that are nomadic for ages and have only an illusion created and cultivated by a man who claimed to be the Providential emissary in the middle of the 6 th century AD, to hold on as succour and hope. Religion cannot unify man- the stark reality was unambiguously shown by the liberation of Bangladesh. And it is again underlined by internecine rivalry and violence in Pakistan, Iraq, Syria and many other parts of the Muslim world. For even what Islam calls the one and only true Providence cannot unite the Shiites and the Sunnis. Ironical, as this is a Frankenstein created by beliefs, faith and unwillingness to think! So what the US and its allies claim as whiff of democracy blowing across the Arab world  are only ember that are kindling out of dormancy, embers of deprivation and domination of one Muslim sect over the other. They cannot meet eye to eye!

Faith has bludgeoned ancient culture in societies in Syria, Iran and Iraq- the old Babylonian haven. If faith has reversed life, constricted human mind, defiled human spirit, it is in the Muslim world. In these societies, fanaticism of faith has emasculated Man and no education will reverse his fate for a few generations to come. I have not seen greater frenzied inflammation in worshiping than here in the Muslim world. To consign it with a dismissive comment such as, “it’s the matter of faith”, is the surest way of ensuring the contagion of intolerance, bigotry and barbaric philosophies, cross the seas and frontiers.