The Legendary "Lungi"

Just as the national bird of Kerala is Mosquito, her national dress is 'Lungi'. Pronounced as 'Lu' as in loo and 'ngi ' as in 'mongey', a lungi can be identified by its floral or window-curtain pattern.  'Mundu' is the white variation of lungi and is worn on special occasions like hartal or bandh days, weddings and Onam. 

 Lungi is simple and 'down to earth' like the mallu wearing it. Lungi is the beginning and the end of evolution in its category. Wearing something on the top half of your body is optional when you are  wearing a lungi. Lungi is a strategic dress. It's like one-size-fits-all bottoms for Keralites.

  

 The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on from generation to generation through word of mouth like the British Constitution. If you think it is an easy task wearing it, just try it once! It requires techniques like breath control and yoga that is a notch higher than sudarshan kriya of AOL. A lungi/mundu when perfectly worn won't come off even in a quake of 8 on the Richter scale. A lungi is not attached to the waist using duct tape, staple, rope or Velcro. It's a bit of mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret like the Coca Cola concoction.

  

 A lungi can be worn 'Full Mast' or 'Half Mast' like a national flag. A ’Full Mast' lungi is when you are showing respect to an elderly or the dead. Wearing it at full mast has lots of disadvantages. A major disadvantage is when a dog runs after you. When you are wearing a lungi/mundu at full mast, the advantage is mainly for the female onlookers who are spared the ordeal of swooning at the sight of hairy and also skinny legs.

 Wearing a lungi 'Half Mast' is when you wear it exposing yourself like those C grade movie starlets. A mallu can play cricket, football or simply run when the lungi is worn at half mast. A mallu can even climb a coconut tree wearing lungi in half mast. "It's not good manners, especially for ladies from decent families, to look up at a mallu climbing a coconut tree"- Confucius (or is it Abdul Kalam?)

  

 Most mallus do the traditional dance,Kudiyattam. Kudi means drinking alcohol and yattam, spelled as aattam, means random movement of the male body. Note that 'y' is silent. When you are drinking, you drink, there is no 'y'. Any alcohol related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when you are topless with lungi and a towel tied around the head. "Half mast lungi makes it easy to dance and shake legs" says  Candelaria Amaranto, a Salsa teacher from Spain after watching  'kudiyaattam' .

  

 The 'Lungi Wearing Mallu Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE MU], an NGO which works towards the 'upliftment' of the lungi, strongly disapprove of the Gen -Next tendency of wearing bermudas under the lungi. Bermudas under the lungi are a conspiracy by the CIA. It's a disgrace to see a person wearing bermuda with corporate logos under his lungi. What they don’t know is how much these Corporations are limiting their freedom of movement and expression.

  A mallu wears lungi round the year, all weather, all season. A mallu celebrates winter by wearing a colourful lungi with a floral pattern.

 Lungi provides good ventilation and brings down the heat between legs.  A mallu is genuinely worried of global warming more than anyone else in the world.

  A lungi can be worn any time of the day/night. It doubles as  blanket at night. It also doubles up as a swing, swimwear, sleeping bag, parachute, facemask while entering/exiting toddy shops, shopping basket and water filter while fishing in ponds and rivers. It also has recreational uses like in 'Lungi/mundu pulling',very much like tugging the rope events, a pastime in households having more than one male member. Lungi pulling competitions are held outside toddy shops all over Kerala during Onam and Vishu. When these lungis are decommissioned from service, they become table cloths. Thus the humble lungi is a cradle to grave appendage.

Courtesy Abdul Wahab

A Surreal Experience

It seemed like the inside of a catacomb. Or was it an Egyptian tomb? It was feebly lit; darker perhaps inside- a solitary oil torch seemed to be eternally shimmering.

The air was archaic, the smell was stifling. I wondered how I came about inside there. I moved down the bend the granite walls menacingly pointed at places. They were colder than the mummified cadaver I stumble upon in the semi darkness. Beyond the bend in the tunnel it was darker, as the light thrown from the oil lit lamp was too feeble to reach farther.

I saw ancient trinkets strewn leisurely on the floor, partially covered by the dust and sand. Dust inside a catacomb? I wondered. Looked very much like the inner self of “genteel" world outside from where I wandered in, covered intermittently in dusty sand and corroded too.

I do not know how long I moved around. Deep in there, time seemed to have stood still, comprehension of time was nonexistent. Time ceased to exist. I slowly realised that I was not claustrophobic, I did not feel stifled, though it indeed must be repressing, I failed to feel though!, I did not miss the air outside, or the light of the day.. I felt more at ease in there amongst the mummified kings and queens.

There were many, some were laid on their back. And I felt some seemed to squat as if they held the posture for eons. And some were quite dismissive at my appearance inside there. Yet some seemed to frown the intrusion. Their convoluted faces and limbs seemed to tell that they were unforgiving, for being interned for those many past centuries.
Rattle snakes sans rattle slithered in silence- were they fearful of the mummies?Mummies who have now been constricted and interned for centuries and in temperamental existence. 

I moved into another chamber, then another, and still many other. Each chamber had a paraffin wax torch claiming to be burning to eternity; they were haughty in their statement even with the pale light they threw around.

And the Kings and Queens, perhaps, consorts too resting in perpetual anger. I did not feel fear, did not see the need to flee the way I took to flight from the world outside. But I saw that it was a one way ticket to in there- you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave.

I remembered the song I loved much, because it reverberated from far away gently and then vehemently into my nerves and I felt the mummified Kings, Queens and their cohorts were coming alive, “On a dark deserted high way, cool wind in my hair……” 

Smitten

Why, why offer her right

When cruelly smitten on her left?

Perhaps gather some self respect

turn her cheek and move away

if retaliation is not her will.

I fail to fathom her psyche

I fail to understand, and in anguish I rest.

Do we need the Albatross?

Do we need Kashmir?

Why do we carry an albatross now for sixty years and more and with the prospect of carrying it perennially, and to our detriment?

Letting go Kashmir – will it have a domino effect on India? Perhaps yes in some parts of North East with covert and overt interference by China. Will it affect the unity of other states in the Union? Absolutely not! But if the integration of the minds of the people has not happened in almost seven decades since the end of colonial rule and dawn of independence, when will it ever integrate to the idea of one country, INDIA?

So then why hold on to a stretch of land and people who are alienated than ever before and also in the bargain invite terror attacks anywhere in the country, fuel enmity and conflagration risk with Pakistan? The consequences of these factors are dearth of money for development and growth as well as uncertain security.

Kashmir is no more a paradise on earth! In the first instance the paradise was messed by Nehru’s wrong foreign policy of dragging the issue to the UN. And then back tracking on the UN resolutions on plebiscite. The dispute festered all along.The paradise has been messed up by successive governments both in the state and the centre, that now beyond Srinagar it is foreign land for the people living in Kashmir. They call it India like it is China and Pakistan across the borders.

The British were vile and smart to run away with a messy lot of some five hundred plus Princely states. They never expected , nor wanted any kind of unification to happen.Though when compared with the military action in Goa the accession of Jammu and Kashmir was quite legal. It was the prerogative of the ruler of the Principality to accede or be independent.And  he chose to be with the Indian Union.

Can Kashmir be independent or can it guard its independence should it cede from the Union? The Kashmirites have no fascination of being in Pakistan, now with all the Al Qaeda mess in that country, and besides it is now almost a failed State. Though the better bet would be to continue in the Indian Union, the hearts and minds of the people are wounded and alienated. And now they would prefer independence from both India and Pakistan.

How can India handle the situation?

I feel that a plebiscite under UN supervision may be held in Kashmir with the condition that should the plebiscite result favour an independent nation the foreign policy and defence of Kashmir will be controlled by India, like it is with Bhutan and Nepal. This would be a safe guard to Kashmir and will deter China from nosing around. Because when Kashmir is an Independent country,China then can no longer allege that India is illegally occupying the territory. On the western front the only factor that vitiated Indo- Pak relationship will be done with. And Al Qaeda will be partly jobless. The subject of India’s illegal occupation and subjugation of Muslims in Kashmir will no longer be a fodder for the various terror groups. This will help Pakistan to have internal stability and India to save precious money and energy in military campaign against Pakistan.

Once the only bone of contention is cleared, on what will Pakistan see adversity from us? In fact most part of Pakistan except the tribal belt of NWFP, has cultural commonness with Hindi speaking belt of India.

As it was told by the Chief of Indian Army, once the terror threat from Pakistan is negated and the reason neutralized India can be on guard in an efficient way against the unreliable and unfriendly China that has long term eyes on the North East. India- China bhai bhai is Nehruvian folly and a myth. China is mighty economically and militarily and we do not stand a chance should China express aggressive intent.

I wonder if my Brigadier friend sitting and surveying now in Raniket bordering China would comment on this in his capacity as a civilian if protocol permits.

How Many More to Go?

Honestly it has been a welcome avenue of release, relief and empathy with distant others, many I have not even seen in person or even in photographs. It has been an avenue to put the load down and sit by the way in some comfort .I once wrote in a post titled “Why”, on the help blogging gives me. And why-because I feel so good about opening out to a great extent as it is like talking to someone who may listen. Not even one’s spouse or child would care to. It can also be talking to your alter ego.  If in the bargain someone manages to excavate an offence, presume hurt, or feels peeved, well, can I help? The medium itself is an excellent avenue to retort. So a riposte is always welcome. It is not a war or battle we are in!

I greatly appreciate Voltaire’s dictum, “I may detest what you say, but I m prepared to die for your right to say that”.

It is not “One hundred years of solitude”, metaphorically, but a few lines I could post as the one hundredth posts, and like the other ninety and nine, borne out of varied moods and disposition.

How many more to go.............? I know not!!!!!

A Sad Reflection

The first incident happened a few years ago.

There are occasional inspections conducted on business units by the Inspector of factories in the town I live and work. But usually the trumpeted inspections happen a few weeks before the festive season of Deepavali, to remind business units to shell out the yearly quota of consideration to the Government officials. Unashamedly officers and their cahoots venture from departments like Income Tax, Provident Fund Directorate, Employees State Insurance Corporation, Inspector of Factories, Customs Dept, etc. And the exercise is clamantly conducted, both by the Business units and the officials!

At that point in time my business unit was not registered with the Provident Fund and ESI offices, though it in fact was statutory to be registered. More because of the unique situation in this business town where employees refuse to part with their contributions towards Provident fund and ESI. So the employers too did not pursue the matter much.

The via media was to grease the inspectors from the offices of Provident Fund and ESI.

Such an inspector began hounding me. And though I told him that I was willing to register with the department soon, he threatened that he will impose penal fine on me with retrospective effect. And that could run into a few lakhs in the least. The alternate was compromise formula where I part with twenty five thousand Rupees as my contribution to his kitty.I thought and declined. He used his official experience and clout to scare the hell out of me, laying down the other consequences even if I pay the fine or go for litigation.

I agreed to the via media. And he agreed to come early the next morning to collect the money. He did come and in tow a teen age boy with an attaché brief case. The money was received by the boy and he nonchalantly put it into his bag and ticked off in his diary against my name. The Inspector parted with a vigorous hand shake, and assuring me of his services all the while. I saw him to the door and then I enquired who the boy was. “Well this is my eldest son. He is second year in college”. said the Inspector. I stood staring at the father and son duo as they departed in their Maruti car.

Looking back at the very incident it is disturbing still. Because the parent initiates the child into a conduct and life that would be formatively very damaging .for the child! And when a handful or a dozen of such children grow into men and women the society will fall apart.I felt unkind to myself .

The second incident was of a similar kind, but had a different twist, more because of my recalcitrant attitude. An official from the fire Service called up and demanded contribution. I gave him a hundred Rupees. He refused to accept and demanded five thousand Rupees. I declined sternly. He made a quick inspection of the factory premises and declared that the fire extinguishers installed were far few than the requirement. And that was an infringement of the rules. Hence I could be penalized. An argument ensued. He did not reply to my question, as to what right he had to demand from me. But he threw the one hundred Rupee note on the table and jumped up  gesticulating. He warned that I will know his prowess when my premises faces a fire break out. And then he will ensure that not one fire tender is at our doors.

I remembered the pictures and stories about the NYFD on the day Sept 11 2002.
But well this is us!!!

Fourteen Commandments

I stumbled across elsewhere these fascinating mantras for a successful marriage. It was also mentioned that break up of wedlock is on the increase. The article I read also stated that these mantras, dictums, call it whatever are a nostrum. I got a jitter and looked back the past twenty and three years with C. Goodness me if we ( I and C ) do not ensure that we remember to zealously abide these mantras in daily life we might soon end up in the opposite sides of the world. It is a miraculous wonder how we in spite of not holding on to all  these fourteen commandments  managed without bruises so long.

Now let me share these panaceas with all devout husbands and wives. Lest you fail to abide and fall apart. So  folks all of you wedded guys and ladies out there better print these mantras, and affix them at all strategic places in your home. So that even if you folks unfortunately forget them they stare at you to remind you of their importance.

1. Communicate-not just about your feelings,but about your day. Discuss regular day today occurrences. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis  - Umm we are not too far here to begin with. Not too bad !

2. Take showers together - Honestly it has been a long time. Wonder if I must remind C of this flip flop! How stupid we were to not do things that might reinforce our marriage, and not send it the Hollywood way!

3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play - Wonder what Ara and Radhu would say about us sliding on the board in the park. And most of all we have to find a park then a sliding board and a swing. I will be busy this week end!

4. Take walks ,morning walks are a great way to start your day.Allows Quality time together - Haven’t tried it yet. Impertinent couple we are!

5. Date nights - We are dating through the day. Wonder if that will be an overdose if we add on at night !

6. Play video games or wrestle - We shout at Radhu and Ara for their periodic obsession with video games. Now how can we explain to them us indulging ? And wrestling goodness me! Not with C in her present frame!

7. Have sex even if you don't want to - non-consensual sex, even if between spouses can be punished under the law. Well this is getting a bit too far!

8. Hold hands - We did that around the mandapam on the wedding day . And then I remember doing it in the car that night driving down from Ootty ,and I sent the car off road and into a trench some ten feet deep.. What a way to ensure a lasting wedlock!!

9. Give praise - We are matter of fact- very unfortunately!

10.Be thankful - That is fine. At last something not too bad isn’t it?

11. Have time apart- Familiarity and proximity breeds’ contempt? Well not yet mercifully ha ha!

12. Don't always nag - Well I do not agree because C cannot live without. Now what shall we do ?

13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about – Good ,I guess ,because we do.

 14. Pick and choose your battles,Learn that life is short and arguments are lame - Well what is life without arguments?