Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fourteen Commandments

I stumbled across elsewhere these fascinating mantras for a successful marriage. It was also mentioned that break up of wedlock is on the increase. The article I read also stated that these mantras, dictums, call it whatever are a nostrum. I got a jitter and looked back the past twenty and three years with C. Goodness me if we ( I and C ) do not ensure that we remember to zealously abide these mantras in daily life we might soon end up in the opposite sides of the world. It is a miraculous wonder how we in spite of not holding on to all  these fourteen commandments  managed without bruises so long.
Now let me share these panaceas with all devout husbands and wives. Lest you fail to abide and fall apart. So  folks all of you wedded guys and ladies out there better print these mantras, and affix them at all strategic places in your home. So that even if you folks unfortunately forget them they stare at you to remind you of their importance.

1. Communicate-not just about your feelings,but about your day. Discuss regular day today occurrences. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis  - Umm we are not too far here to begin with. Not too bad !
2. Take showers together - Honestly it has been a long time. Wonder if I must remind C of this flip flop! How stupid we were to not do things that might reinforce our marriage, and not send it the Hollywood way!
3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play - Wonder what Ara and Radhu would say about us sliding on the board in the park. And most of all we have to find a park then a sliding board and a swing. I will be busy this week end!
4. Take walks ,morning walks are a great way to start your day.Allows Quality time together - Haven’t tried it yet. Impertinent couple we are!
5. Date nights - We are dating through the day. Wonder if that will be an overdose if we add on at night !
6. Play video games or wrestle - We shout at Radhu and Ara for their periodic obsession with video games. Now how can we explain to them us indulging ? And wrestling goodness me! Not with C in her present frame!
7. Have sex even if you don't want to - non-consensual sex, even if between spouses can be punished under the law. Well this is getting a bit too far!
8. Hold hands - We did that around the mandapam on the wedding day . And then I remember doing it in the car that night driving down from Ootty ,and I sent the car off road and into a trench some ten feet deep.. What a way to ensure a lasting wedlock!!

9. Give praiseWe are matter of fact- very unfortunately!

10.Be thankful - That is fine. At last something not too bad isn’t it?

11. Have time apart- Familiarity and proximity breeds’ contempt? Well not yet mercifully ha ha!

12. Don't always nag - Well I do not agree because C cannot live without. Now what shall we do ?

13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about – Good ,I guess ,because we do.

 14. Pick and choose your battles,Learn that life is short and arguments are lame - Well what is life without arguments?


dr.antony said...

Ha..ha wonderful mantras!
I wish I knew this saint who coined these.I would go to him with betel leaf and arecanut and bow down.

There are some other secrets I would share.
If and when you go out for some tricky things outside,make sure you tell your wife.."honey ,I love you, and then smooch her.
And be very affectionate when you come back..she will catch you for sure.
Anil, honestly,if I do any of your mantras,my wife would definitely know I am up to some thing.
Women have their instincts!

A New Beginning said...

Ya but I liked the way youve given a piece of your own for every mantra...can life be lived on mantras , or is it good to live each day as it teaches us to mould ourselves in every situation ...

anilkurup said...

@ doc Antony,
You are right Doc. If we show dramatics to the Lady back at home we are goofing ourselves.So better be as we are and live with our idiosyncrasy and naughtiness when ever we can.

I picked these mantras as it can called just to be on the lighter side of things. Funny to think that we should follow them isn't it so ?

@ A New Beginning

I just saw the comical side of the subject , of these guidelines .

Shilpa Garg said...

Wonderful mantras. We may not be following all of them but adopting them would do no harm! :D

I had done a post on A to Z of Marriage. Check it out sometime :

Cheers :)

Ashok Menath said...

Great! Let me see how ‘we’ fare:

The communication thing is OK. We certainly do that and end up quite the opposite to the 14th one. Net result: zero!

Taking showers together? : We are in different continents, literally. Now, what about taking showers at the same time? If seven in the morning is usual time for her, Oh my God, I’ll have to pour water on my clean pate at about 3.00AM!!!! No way!

3 to 5: park, walk and dating: practically impossible because of the continental shift!

Both of us don’t like (something in common at last) video games. Wrestling: In our case it will be like two sumo wrestlers trying to throw the other one over the ropes! Nonetheless worth trying next time when we are together!

Sex: Alas! We can’t have it even if we want to! Blame it again on geography. That is the case with holding hands as well.

Give praise: I would have tried. Luckily Dr. Antony reminded me about the ‘ground reality’!

Be thankful: Thought I scored here, at last. Then it got nullified with the 12th one :-(

Have time apart: Do I get bonus points here? We had not been together for quite sometime now. (Anil, familiarity breeds contempt and children as well! :-))

Share advice: Yes.

So, what is the final score: 2 out of 14! It is a hopeless case, isn’t it?

anilkurup said...

@ Shilpa Garg,

Yes I will check your post to see the mantras that you have. Too many mantras too are not too great.

@ Ashok Menath

Ha I new it was hopeless long before Ha ha ha!!!!

anilkurup said...

@ Shilpa Garg,

Yes I will check your post to see the mantras that you have. Too many mantras too are not too great.

@ Ashok Menath

Ha I new it was hopeless long before Ha ha ha!!!!

Balachandran V said...

The commandments and your versions made me smirk and laugh out, alternately! I am sure Beena wouldn't be reading Ashok's comment! :D. Or -rather he is sure! :D :D

Of course, I wouldn't do the exercise Ashok did - I suspect Parvati does read your blog!

kaalpanique said...

i wouldnt have found it interesting if it weren't for ure add ons!!!

anilkurup said...

@ Bals,

Africa has brought about some audacity .And he can be absolutely certain that reading other than the daily News paper is not habitual with her.


Some fun that is all. Or else it is stupid to go after these Dale Carnegie kind of exhortations.