Tuesday, July 5, 2011

An Evening

Self importance- the feeling of inflated pride and consequently the tormenting feel of hurt to his ego, it has happened to all of us at some point in life, but it happens to him often. Instances which dented his feeling of self importance! The reluctance to let go the consequent urge to fight back, to retaliate any which way he can. The social and other etiquette are flung away as his pride is hurt. He knows that the subject that is instrumental for the feeling is insignificant and of little importance, but his mind does not accept the little pin -prick to the ego. He hits back and makes a mountain of a trivial little mole hill. Matters then reach a stage of serious consequence. The situation threatens to explode out of his hand.

On another plain he knows that the other person was brash and offensive. And that he was directed by his 
vanity and imperious nature. He also knows that the other is strong, physically. And a brawl may be unsafe for him. But still he refuses to see the writing on the wall and retaliates. His pride is inflated and does not subside. The consequence bruised ego and bruises all over. What if he had let the other enjoy the momentary imperial satisfaction, what if we had ignored his impetuosity and turned away? The blind rage of the bull is always to the advantage of the toreador!

The fields were green with grass, there were crickets hopping around. In the setting sun the shallow brook nearby was sparkling gold. The horizon touching the hills was crimson as the sun slipped slowly beyond and below. On the field I stood, there were a few crows pecking at the buffalo droppings. The Mainas were pulling at an earth worm they managed to pick. The dragon flies were flying low and dancing a ballet. Further down the field a group of little boys were chattering away while playing football. The few water buffaloes in the stream came up and eyed the surroundings. I noticed one of them a brute of a fellow poke his horns on another, inviting a confrontation. The offended one turned around eyed the brute as if telling what and how he felt about him. He did not charge back, he moved away from the brute. Apparently he must have seen that there is space around to be at peace and not engage in the war of pride. A physical confrontation was unlikely to be in his favour. The brute looked helplessly miffed for a moment and moved to another to vent his brawn. 

He has not known , he did not foresee that his match would arrive one day!


Insignia said...

Haa 'his match would arrive one day'

Waiting is such a tough thing to do Anil :)

Have you had a fight with yourself? That dilemma when one part of you says 'vengeance' when the other part says 'let go'.

We fail to realize that as time passes, the once important thing we clung to fades and we laugh over our stupidity.

Why cant we realize that at present and laugh over it, burying the ego? Is it so tough?

Mélange said...

Precise,well said.
Revenging is something I am not into.
Where as,I forgive with no further chance.
I can't forget,may be I didn't win yet.

kavita said...

No revenge as complete as forgiveness .

Juxtaposition said...

Well expressed! :)

Thats the fun part of life. If everything goes on smoothly and everyone agrees with everything, then that would be so boring!

The match comes along, then the match becomes a brute and the cycle continues. :)

I remember the first saying or idiom I ever studied. "Look before you leap". Its the toughest thing to do when you are in a rage. :)

dr.antony said...

Thinking is often regarded as an extension of the ego. Clever children in school base their egos on being clever and on being right all the time.And they grow up with that idea and think that being right in everything is being clever.They never admit mistakes.Ego brews and grows.

We see these kind of people everyday. Even their attempts to act simple,only reveals their hidden ego and grandeaour.Ego is like a bloated balloon.One prick is enough and down it falls after dancing in the skies..

"A person who dare not admit he is wrong inflates his ego but weakens his self"

Edward De Bono

kochuthresiamma p .j said...

this posts reminds me of the conluding lines of The Boxer by Simon and garfunker:
In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains

anilkurup said...

@ Insignia,
B,"Give me the strength never to.... bend my knees before insolent might".

Where will we place egoism in this context? Can you tell?

@ Melange,@ Kavitha,

Antidote for egoism or when confronted by egoistic mind is to ignore. Forgive and forget , I do not see that it suits well in this context. don't you think so?

@ Juxtaposition.

I guess the metaphysical law states that there may be a match for every action.Nemesis for all actions will have to catch up one day. But will it?

@ Doc Antony,

Yes indeed it is like a balloon. Floats uninhibited and with impudence for a while.I feel that it is the inferior feeling that manifest as impudence and ego. don't you think so?

@ KPJ,

"I came out alone on my way to my tryst.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.
He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger;
he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.
He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame;
but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company".(' Githanjali')

Insignia said...


:-) It IS tough :) to answer that question.

I got my answer :)

anilkurup said...

@ Insignia,

B you have the answer? Care to share?