Tuesday, July 19, 2011

"Holier Than Thou" - a musing



 I was trying to figure out the kind of attitude in people that I cannot avoid scowling at and see as a very hard choice of character to deal with. But I also felt that if I phrase it that way, the holier ones would allege that a plebeian like me is obsessed with self styled air of infallibility. That, I do not want, because I do not intend to stake 
claim to flawlessness.

There are an awful many distinct imperfections in my person .I, though not intolerant, may throw it in the face. Diplomacy would have seen me in a far comfortable life than I managed till now. Would have certainly increased my circle of acquaintances but not friends! I may not even practice to the near last letter what I pontificate. But I do not necessarily claim that I do and in reality hold a little different course. So I’m a student of the “Art of Imperfection” and a practicing hypocrite. Is anybody out there willing to be comrade in arms?


The biggest threat a man can be to another is to be an offensive person in character, countenance, and bound by rudeness. It is also when words of appreciation for the good in him or her, be it the persona, artistic or literary creative excellence, manifests as a malignant ego  
and fed by that, the qualities of offense, rudeness and intolerance sets in. A discernible contempt towards everything and anything, disdainful attitude and intolerance towards all that is different from his/her professed (not practiced) ways. The decency in the culture of argumentative tradition is found to be at the nadir in such people. They fume, frown, and even abuse in their own subtle ways.


The only matter that threatened to affect dangerously even my wedlock was orchestrated by the folks who were eagerly acquiescent to my proposal to C, twenty three years ago. A junta of people who then were commoners but with some goodness!  C has an inexplicable quality of unrequited love and affection especially to people who are from her immediate clan. My unenviable lack of tact and diplomacy when up against insolence, diabolism and manipulations has made me severe all sorts of links reinforced and kindled by the nuptial cording. Whilst C bends head over heels, eyes glistening with affection and immense love at the sight of even a lowly (literally) a wiggler from amongst the clan. That confounds me exasperated, anguished and angry.


However I have never forced her like a fascist despotic spouse to tag on my outlook without any demure. Coercion, emotional or otherwise is not my forte and liking. Even with the children, I contain to expressing my strong displeasure and disapproval, but I seldom let my annoyance plummet into insolence and physical reactions. C will vouch for that, I’m certain.The annoyance is when people who are privy to my personal life begin to pontificate, whilst they adept themselves in doing all that I do, and even sorrier.

To talk disparagingly about a person and  slander him,only to get even with him is silly and mean as it can get. I saw this happen. And as since the people concerned were known to me, it was embarrassing and ridiculous and the matter was trivial.If jest cannot be taken as such among friends,and triggers a one sided diatribe it is only a pathetic reflection of  penury  of ,not wealth, but .....! To personally abuse and rake up a friend’s self confessed personal infractions, with the desperate intention of satisfying and covering one's faux pas! There is only one word to describe, ‘miserable’.
So, let me also for a moment try to revel and exult in the feeling that “I’m, holier than thou”..
  

15 comments:

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

What I gauge from your posts is that you must be leading an ardent and honest life with fierce convictions. Am I right?

anilkurup said...

@ Arun Meethale Chirakkal,

I consider your comment as antonym of what you expressed, Then you have judged well.

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

No, there wasn’t even a least bit of cynicism in my comment. Blame it on my poor linguistic skills.
“Thannathilla paranullu kattuvanonnume naranupayameeswaran
Innu bhashayathapoornamingaho vannu pom pizhayumarthasankayaal”
-Kumaranasan

anilkurup said...

Hey Arun , know I did not mean that your comment was cynical.
I can only say one thing that the holier than thou mind set is found only in people who are a confused lot. They aspire to be an idealistic being they profess much , but do not have the guts to say that after all I 'm just another fallible being. They are the opposite of what they want to be.
I'm talking about ordinary people like us not the criminal kind like an Alcapone or a Pawar or a Jack the Ripper.

The verses of Asan - I cannot read the malayalam you made out in english alphabets. I find it difficult.

Makk said...

Holier Indeed!

Balachandran V said...

A fine piece of introspection. You cannot be more honest than this. Being one of your inner circle of friends, I cannot say any more. Yet, I hope and pray that you will be at peace with yourself and others...

Mélange said...

After all,we are finding pleasure in what we are..Though I am comparatively a new reader of you,I think this piece didn't astonish me .Got you even before it seems..Outlook may be different for everyone of us.Yet finding affection and vibes of sorts !

Pritys said...

Come what may in life don't change your individuality and remember live life the way you want it for you n C n R mol n A mon. As you rightly put it in your words about friend... relatives & you clan. My take away from life is every one has opinions and they are like armpits. All have one and that stinks..so just love your family "CAR" unconditionally - accept them the way they are and be yourself. We like you just the way you are - what say C!

kavita said...

No one is perfect and only few are courageous enough to look inside and share the findings further .Holding good thoughts for you .

anilkurup said...

@ Makk,

Not holier indeed, I can always say, "I told you so"!

@ Balnn,

It is as peaceful as it can get in a pleabians life.

@ melange,

You said it,"..Outlook may be different for everyone of us.Yet finding affection and vibes of sorts" !

Wish it is so with all.

@ Priti,

It is good to get a new follower to follwo my nonsensinscal musings.
I liked the use of the word/phrase" armpits".
Certainly you are not as dreary as I thought ha ha.

Thanks agian for comments.


@ Kavita,

I must thank you again for the wonderful posts on the "living stone bridge".

I value your comments on my post much. Thanks for the comments.

Insignia said...

Takes lot of guts to realize the self and lot more courage to share.

You can always use this as a defense "You already knew about me" sort :-P

On a serious note; cant please all. Its always best to be at one's peace.

People who genuinely love you will accept you the way you are :) so why bother about others.

anilkurup said...

@ Insignia,

You are right as you may see in my comment to Makk's comment on this Post, I have the ace up my sleeves, " I told you so" , ha ha!

Then, exactly as you feel, the ones who are "yours genuinely", will understand and not fret and frown or even slander you.

One is wasting one's life hoping that one can be a perfect human being.To delude is still worse. To attempt showbiz is disaster. So forget the Utopian qualities , be the perfectly imperfect. Don't you agree?

anilkurup said...

@ Insignia,

You are right as you may see in my comment to Makk's comment on this Post, I have the ace up my sleeves, " I told you so" , ha ha!

Then, exactly as you feel, the ones who are "yours genuinely", will understand and not fret and frown or even slander you.

One is wasting one's life hoping that one can be a perfect human being.To delude is still worse. To attempt showbiz is disaster. So forget the Utopian qualities , be the perfectly imperfect. Don't you agree?

dr.antony said...

Forgive them, they know not !

anilkurup said...

Doc,

perhaps the mistake Christ did and continues to do! (?)