I say this as an observer and as a member of the male species. I’m not even a distant “Man watcher” in the Desmond Morris mould. What is noted is only from my observations, reading and experiences of self and of people around I know.
There are certain biological qualities that predominate male and female. The female, be it in the animal kingdom or among human beings prefer the strongest and the indisputable of the male lot. Among beasts procreation being the sole motive that drives towards courtship, the female choose the best among male to continue her lineage. Among human beings things are not confined to just ensuring that the seed is fertilised by the best of men, because human wants are different and not merely natural as procreation alone. Wealth is associated with power and that may be often preferred over raw physical prowess; education and physical charm; character and moral up righteousness, all play significant part or some may be the sole criteria as well.
There are not many women who would opt for a man who is incapable of providing her the security she wants. An infatuation in the genre of Romeo & Juliet or Laila & Majnu is only madness and exceptions to the rule. Often seen in fictional works than in real life! The word “security” is relative. To some it can be money, sex, affection, faithfulness etc.
The fact is women are adept in choosing the best that they deem is appropriate for them. While men are by far obsessed with the physical curvature that attracts. Fortunately further enactment is restricted by social laws and etiquettes. A time without restraints that are enforced from outside is rather frightening and can be a dangerous situation that may throw open the real nature of the male species. To some this natural fascination or disposition can be a mad obsession. Like in the animal kingdom the male among the Homo sapiens seem to be genetically driven by the primordial urge and the refining has been only because of social controls.
Once during a discussion a person stated that male of the human species are obsessed with sex and women .They hardly let a woman pass by, by not undressing her in his mind. He attributed this disposition even in Gandhi which perhaps made him rebel against, in his conscience. There is also an opinion which states that he straddling two women on either shoulder was his way of negating the ubiquitous urge of male. Hence his many trysts with Sataygraha!
That consigns male to a genetically charged group disposed to copulation. And to many, sexual relationships end with copulation and one night stand as some call it, be it in marriage or outside. Other feelings of emotion and love are certainly there and are more often the result of social conditioning.
However women are choosy, and survey the male before she concludes his suitability as the partner. She prefers to choose the Man among men. She can plan with tremendous far sight. She can sense when he is weak, financially and physically. And can find ingenious ways to shun him when not required. She has the charm to mesmerize and enchant. She is stronger emotionally too. What else and how else can I explain the passing away of at least five men I knew who bade good bye soon after their spouse died? They were hearty and healthy until the wives were around. On the contrary widows enjoy longevity. Men break down emotionally inside and fall ill physically as soon as they lose the partner. The zest to survive is lost in them.
And I have not come across a man who has used a woman when need be and shun her later. Financially encumbered women are exceptions and are like prey to the civilized predators of the society. On the contrary I have known women who have with uncanny acumen and cunningness use men physically and monetarily literally as serfs. Discard them like pariahs and disposable napkins once they are weak. Man’s weakness is adeptly exploited by the “weaker sex”. If this is not the genetically feeble mind of men in realtion to the strong mindset of women, what else is it?
A woman can wear a man down emotionally. She can make him beg, plead,make him beseech and weep. .But still she may not have him have his way. I can relate this to courtship times among beasts. The casual impassivity and indifference exhibited by the lioness or the doe when male after male lions and stags lurk pleadingly around her. Makes me wonder are we not just another bipedal ones in the animal kingdom?
Lady Macbeth is a stark example. We have had similar examples in the Indian mythical works as well. Was it Rasputin or the Russian empress who maneuvered the other? It is indeed an easy guess.