Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Weaker Sex




I say this as an observer and as a member of the male species. I’m not even a distant “Man watcher” in the Desmond Morris mould. What is noted is only from my observations, reading and experiences of self and of people around I know.

There are certain biological qualities that predominate male and female. The female, be it in the animal kingdom or among human beings prefer the strongest and the indisputable of the male lot. Among beasts procreation being the sole motive that drives towards courtship, the female choose the best among male to continue her lineage. Among human beings things are not confined to just ensuring that the seed is fertilised by the best of men, because human wants are different and not merely natural as procreation alone.  Wealth is associated with power and that may be often preferred over raw physical prowess; education and physical charm; character and moral up righteousness, all play significant part or some may be the sole criteria as well. 

There are not many women who would opt for a man who is incapable of providing her the security she wants. An infatuation in the genre of Romeo & Juliet or Laila & Majnu is only madness and exceptions to the rule. Often seen in fictional works than in real life! The word “security” is relative. To some it can be money, sex, affection, faithfulness etc.

The fact is women are adept in choosing the best that they deem is appropriate for them. While men are by far obsessed with the physical curvature that attracts. Fortunately further enactment is restricted by social laws and etiquettes. A time without restraints that are enforced from outside is rather frightening and can be a dangerous situation that may throw open the real nature of the male species. To some this natural fascination or disposition can be a mad obsession. Like in the animal kingdom the male among the Homo sapiens seem to be   genetically driven by the primordial urge and the refining has been only because of social controls.

Once during a discussion a person stated that male of the human species are obsessed with sex and women .They hardly let a woman pass by, by not undressing her in his mind. He attributed this disposition even in Gandhi which perhaps made him rebel against, in his conscience. There is also an opinion which states that he straddling two women on either shoulder was his way of negating the ubiquitous urge of male. Hence his many trysts with Sataygraha!

That consigns male to a genetically charged group disposed to copulation. And to many, sexual relationships end with copulation and one night stand as some call it, be it in marriage or outside. Other feelings of emotion and love are certainly there and are more often the result of social conditioning.

However women are choosy, and survey the male before she concludes his suitability as the partner. She prefers to choose the Man among men. She can plan with tremendous far sight. She can sense when he is weak, financially and physically. And can find ingenious ways to shun him when not required.  She has the charm to mesmerize and enchant. She is stronger emotionally too. What else and how else can I explain the passing away of at least five men I knew who bade good bye soon after their spouse died? They were hearty and healthy until the wives were around. On the contrary widows enjoy longevity. Men break down emotionally inside and fall ill physically as soon as they lose the partner. The zest to survive is lost in them.

And I have not come across a man who has used a woman when need be and shun her later. Financially encumbered women are exceptions and are like prey to the civilized predators of the society.  On the contrary I have known women who have with uncanny acumen and cunningness use men physically and monetarily literally as serfs. Discard them like pariahs and disposable napkins once they are weak. Man’s weakness is adeptly exploited by the “weaker sex”. If this is not the genetically feeble mind of men in realtion to the strong mindset of women, what else is it?

A woman can wear a man down emotionally. She can make him beg, plead,make him beseech and weep. .But still she may not have him have his way. I can relate this to courtship times among beasts. The casual impassivity and indifference exhibited by the lioness or the doe when male after male lions and stags lurk pleadingly around her. Makes me wonder are we not just another bipedal ones in the animal kingdom?

Lady Macbeth is a stark example. We have had similar examples in the Indian mythical works as well.  Was it Rasputin or the Russian empress who maneuvered the other? It is indeed an easy guess.



17 comments:

Happy Kitten said...

Since this is from a man's point of view only, one need not agree to all the accusations :)

But for sure, women are not the weaker sex.. maybe physically, but not in other ways. Which means men need to ack them for their intellect too :)

But your statement "And I have not come across a man who has used a woman when need be and shun her later." must be the result of not having met those kind of men! as for women choosing men with money, I think many men are no different.. else why do they keep mum when the parents haggle over the dowry? If advt are a reflection of the society then you may remember the same from LIC ( not sure), where this little fellow is asking the big fellow, what kind of a lady he wants to marry......

....Petty Witter said...

A fascinating post. I don't know about my seeking out the strongest, I'll take a man who can make me laugh every time.

Juxtaposition said...

Very Interesting post. And I am not commenting on it! :) But I am here to agree with Happy Kitten. Bye.

anilkurup said...

@ Happy Kitten/Jyothi
It was only after I posted the piece did I notice the glaring statement of the sentence I missed doing right. And as apprehended you and Jyothi spotted it.
"And I have not come across a man who has used a woman when need be and shun her later." But I leave it in post and accept pelting if it comes.

The piece is not a comparison in the villainous character of women vis a vis men. It was only an attempt at correlating it with biological make up. And when that is done , I see women as smart as street smart can be. And generations to come will be genetically favouring a stronger women, mentally, physically and some with also all the trappings the bard gave his character.

A close observation of even little children, a boy and a girl of the same parents will tell.

And together with education and economic empowerment women are sure to be a tough proposition for male domination and misogynist ones.


@ Petty Witter,

I'm sure you are lucky and must have got the man who makes you laugh.

Insignia said...

"And I have not come across a man who has used a woman when need be and shun her later"

You must be surrounded by saintly men. Being surrounded by one is luck; by many is indeed a privilege not experienced by many Anil ;-)

About your views on women - I agree to your every word.

anilkurup said...

@ Insignia,

B, If you read my reply to the comments which came before your comments , I guess you can see my explanation. It was a sort faux pa and a statement that was not meant to be. I noticed it only after posting . And decided to leave at that and accept retorts as they come.

Mélange said...

Interesting observations there from a man Anil.You can't be blamed for being a man and that's how you can bring up the viewpoints I understand.

These are such vast topics of discussion that when you try to point out generally,it's difficult to work.One's gender and experience really matters here.Plus the body facts,science behind,hormones,brain all are important.

Your viewpoint there on not having met a single man of sorts,created a stir among the woman who visited,you know.It's vague Anil.As you may be knowing Men hate commitment.That is one viewpoint generally accepted and scientifically proven.And when you research in individual cases,it's even higher.I know and have known many cases which I can share you too.What the girls commented is sincere I think.

Most of the men who are married are secretly worried that single men have a better life with more fun and sex.It's a life-long worry for many.But it's hilarious and that's the case with many of men worries'.In fact this 'commitment fear' comes out of 'may-be-missing out' delights.Yet,there are clever men who know the reality.Only 2 %.Being a male centric society,the pitfalls in women nature or the so called imposed pitfalls always been projected.Who bothers ?

"There are not many women who would opt for a man who is incapable of providing her the security she wants"-of course the security factor is there.As you mentioned in the same post,we have a special capability to realise what we need in a man.Most often this 'security' factor coupled with the observations we have,the ultimate settlement comes.May be in a casual conversation when the man in love comments on comments from outside to woman,'that's just common,leave it like that' sometimes are noted in a female brain.The suspicion factor whether he is capable.Now when it comes to monetary factor in security,most often we don't count what he earn 'now',but his attitude and how 'capable' (the boasting factor in men is caught within seconds here.It's not your words but our observation that really matters) he really is.That does matter.

"While men are by far obsessed with the physical curvature that attracts."
"A woman can wear a man down emotionally. She can make him beg, plead,make him beseech and weep. .But still she may not have him have his way."-I am making it all short as I can.Love is really a confusing word for men.Men are fuelled to eyeballs with testosterone results into the lust phase of falling in love. Infatuation stage,we may call it.Here most of the researches show that women are better connected to the centres of reason and emotion in brain and are not out-of-control with testosterone.Naturally gives her a better chance to observe and evaluate whether the other gender is potentially right partner for her.The reason why most relationships are ended by women and still men are confused on what had happened.

Btw Anil,I may torture you with my ideas and it's not fair I think.Was just sharing some of them what struck me when I read this.Thank you.

(I know and I strongly trust the fact that women are much stronger and powerful than men in anything.Unlike men but we are happy even without proving Anil.That's again a strength no ?)

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

A contentious post. But what amazes me is the fact that you’ve managed to escape without having to receive a collective, scathing attack :)

Mélange said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mélange said...

Most of the men who are married are secretly worried that single men have a better life with more fun and sex.It's a life-long worry for many.But it's hilarious and that's the case with many of men worries'.In fact this 'commitment fear' comes out of 'may-be-missing out' delights.Yet,there are clever men who know the reality.Only 2 %.Being a male centric society,the pitfalls in women nature or the so called imposed pitfalls always been projected.Who bothers ?

"There are not many women who would opt for a man who is incapable of providing her the security she wants"-of course the security factor is there.As you mentioned in the same post,we have a special capability to realise what we need in a man.Most often this 'security' factor coupled with the observations we have,the ultimate settlement comes.May be in a casual conversation when the man in love comments on comments from outside to woman,'that's just common,leave it like that' sometimes are noted in a female brain.The suspicion factor whether he is capable.Now when it comes to monetary factor in security,most often we don't count what he earn 'now',but his attitude and how 'capable' (the boasting factor in men is caught within seconds here.It's not your words but our observation that really matters) he really is.That does matter.

"While men are by far obsessed with the physical curvature that attracts."
"A woman can wear a man down emotionally. She can make him beg, plead,make him beseech and weep. .But still she may not have him have his way."-I am making it all short as I can.Love is really a confusing word for men.Men are fuelled to eyeballs with testosterone results into the lust phase of falling in love. Infatuation stage,we may call it.Here most of the researches show that women are better connected to the centres of reason and emotion in brain and are not out-of-control with testosterone.Naturally gives her a better chance to observe and evaluate whether the other gender is potentially right partner for her.The reason why most relationships are ended by women and still men are confused on what had happened.

Btw Anil,I may torture you with my ideas and it's not fair I think.Was just sharing some of them what struck me when I read this.Thank you.

(I know and I strongly trust the fact that women are much stronger and powerful than men in anything.Unlike men but we are happy even without proving Anil.That's again a strength no ?)

anilkurup said...

@ Arun,

Yes contentious in parts . Though I have subsequently in my reply to comments clarified the main part that may be contentious.

I was trying to see the similarity between the female and male in the animal kingdom.Certainly the female are stronger biologically . Only that socially they lost out all these years.
Mercifully no scathing comments yet .

@ Melange,

I was surprised when I followed the gmail notification and found that your comment did not display on the blog.

Thanks for your exhaustive comment. You I notice are the few who read a blog well and comment without restraint and matter of fact too.
I agree with your contentions. My only discussion point was female species are adept in survival technique, be it among animals or man. The urge and the instinct to adapt, survive, groom off springs and make home are not Mans forte. He , be it human or animal is certainly disposed to sexual pleasures. This is a fact. And only social restrictions and conditioning arrested the no holds barred ways of man.

Please be free to comment - it is no torture men are used to that Ha !!

\

Mélange said...

@ Anil,I guess google have found it as spam and may be the reason.I tried to post as two.By then I think you have reposted it or so.Anyway,the missing first part follows:

Interesting observations there from a man Anil.You can't be blamed for being a man and that's how you can bring up the viewpoints I understand.

These are such vast topics of discussion that when you try to point out generally,it's difficult to work.One's gender and experience really matters here.Plus the body facts,science behind,hormones,brain all are important.

Your viewpoint there on not having met a single man of sorts,created a stir among the woman who visited,you know.It's vague Anil.As you may be knowing Men hate commitment.That is one viewpoint generally accepted and scientifically proven.And when you research in individual cases,it's even higher.I know and have known many cases which I can share you too.What the girls commented is sincere I think.

Followed by what is there published.Thanks.

Mélange said...

@Anil for the mindful "it is no torture men are used to that Ha !!" - Just the same way I am used to either ignore or pity for the clichéd/imposed men faiths.The spirit is very same there.(the one I put there as 'torture'was not meant for the man you are,but the writer which I guess you got and I am only interested in)Thanks once again.

anilkurup said...

@ <elange,

Oh I meant it as you thought. Just a a bit of pun intended. Thanks for a good analytical comment on the topic. I value that.

test said...

Anil,

I did read the earlier comments and your explanation of a faux pas.

I was pulling your leg; which was why I ended with a 'wink' smiley. :)

Happy Kitten said...

Woman can be worse than a man since she can pretend to be frail and weak which she is not... and I agree on your observations regarding the female and male child... while bringing up our dau and son, I realized the glaring difference. Even simple tasks which my dau did when she was a wee little girl could not be mastered by the son.. maybe they expect the world to treat them better?
but if you want to have fun while exploring the male and female brain, try watching the stand up comedy by Russel peters and Mark Gungor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dOAjXSZJ1o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiVCD9QMAMI&feature=related

anilkurup said...

@ Happy Kitten,

I will have to check the link you gave some time later.

I see matters with the female species as the work of biological evolution and adjustments to the real time world. The suppression, the servitude they have been consigned in many societies, and the general domination of the male sex all may be triggering a latent but certain adaptation and survival chemistry in women. And as you also noticed it can be seen in the little ones of our times too.