"Justitia"

A month or so ago bloggers flooded the sites with mutual  and reciprocal wishes and accolades on the Independence Day. Back patting, self congratulatory words, jingoistic slogans and so on  flooded the sites. "Mere Bhartah mahan” , so claimed many blogs. Suddenly many of us woke up to believe that we are a proud ,civilised nation and a free democracy.

Today when one switch on any news channel on TV the world’s largest democracy seems to be at war, Preparations are on for a possible war. Security is being beefed up all over the country. Secular credentials of the masses and the country seem to be threatened and security personnel have been deployed at places of worship, and many public monuments.The reason, the free democracy that we are may be grotesquely awakened or jolted by a judgement that a court of law will pronounce in a day. That is the extent and depth of our respect for the judicial process and law of the land. And we still claim to democratic and secular values. Bull shit! Can we be more hypocritical than this?

When we cannot accept the due process of law to which we turned to conclude a dispute what right do we have to claim that we are free? That we are democratic? We are secular? We are civilised nation that respects the law?

Perhaps Winston Churchill though brutal in his observations ,about our credentials was right , that we Indians cannot manage our affairs in a civilised conduct but are meant to be ruled over.

If...

If life followed us, stead of us follow life
and ebb with the tide?

Cease longing and craving for things that are afar.

If we can be happy when dispossessed cause we never owned them to begin with?

Would then ,life be happier than now?

The Word ?

It is in human nature to ignore and wish away what that we feel is not convenient to us, our beliefs and perceived well being. We are well adept in closing our eyes to the many possibilities that life throws up. Our conditioning has much to do with this. Since we are taught to be subservient and comply with the system. Not to ask inconvenient questions. What attracted me to Hollger Kersten’s book “Jesus Lived in India” ,published by Penguin was the audacity of inquisitiveness, a profane trait as seen by many. C has now begun reading the book. The good thing about her, she is not shackled by icons and fear of malediction. I bought the book after seeing it with a woman who claims to be a devout catholic. I was certain that when she told me that she read the book it was a monolithic lie. Because people of her genre are a frightened lot, they cannot but wear blinkers.

Many European travellers to Kashmir have recorded the possibility- of Jesus living in India.
Suppression of truth, search for knowledge and light has always been practised down history. And the author of this book quotes ample conjectures that points to culpability of not only the Church but also of the apostles some of whom may have allegedly misrepresented facts in narrating the life crucifiction and resurrection of Jesus. 

According to the Old Testament Moses led the Jews from Egypt to the Promised Land, (which they usurped from the Palestinians to become later the modern day Israel). But according to the evidence bared by  Hollger Kersten this Promised Land was not Palestine but the valley of Kashmir.The first set of evidence is that several locales mentioned in the Old Testament carry strong similarities in name and description to places in and near the Kashmir valley. Secondly the native Kashmiri people bear strong resemblances to Jews in physical characteristics. Thirdly the customs of Kashmir is having fascinating similarities to those of the Jews. The book has to be read to understand how a group settled in Kashmir.

Then come the galvanizing parts of Kersten’s disclosures- Jesus spent much of his teen and youth in a Monastery in India, studying Buddhism. He then went back to the Middle East where he preached all the knowledge and wisdom he gathered in the orient. The conjecture cannot be shooed away, because after being born and reared in a faith (Judaism) which literally embraces the dictum, “an eye of an eye, and tooth for a tooth”, Jesus was known to have preached compassion, forgiveness and repentance, traits clearly alien to his people but ascribed to the oriental religion of Buddhism. If not for the influence of alien faith and religion, from where and how did he imbibe these laudable principles and wisdom? Another vital point that the self proclaimed biblical historians could not explain was the whereabouts of Christ from his adolescence to the very late twenties. It is known from the bible and other historical documents that Christ was seen back in Palestine in his thirtieth year.

 Last but not the least, Jesus survived the Crucifixion, not just in Spirit but also in body and then returned to India and continued to spread his message. He finally died in Kashmir in ripe old age.  His tomb exists in Kashmir still. "In the middle of Srinagar's old town stands the building known as 'Roza Bal',which is constructed over the burial place of 'Yuz Azaf',who  the evidence strongly suggest is none other than Jesus". The harrowing period of the crucifiction ,the fascinating rescue and medical care ,escape to safety of the east along with his Essene  disciples are all  well explained with proof and evidence.

While Kersten acknowledges that many Christians may accuse him of fleecing Christianity of its core message that Christ died on the cross to salvage humanity by bearing on him our sins, the author argues that this was not the factual message that came from Christ but from the apostles who gave us their interpretations of Christ’s life and preaching. Jesus on the other hand, preached love, tolerance and harmony! His life in itself conveys that central message. It was Paul who made out Jesus died on the cross to bring salvation to mankind.

Kersten opines that if a DNA test could be conducted on the shroud of Turin that is believed to have been used to drape the body of Christ (later scientifically proved to be hoax) and on the remains in the tomb a conclusive proof for his claims can be found, but that may seldom happen in our times.Kersten argues that the scientific testing on the authenticity of the shroud was questionable.

Through out the book, the  author based his theory on facts, legends, the scriptures including Koran and lot of historical postulations and evidence. When one carefully note the volume of evidence and historical materials that are described and laid bare in the book, these theories cannot be rubbished as that of an apostate.

This book  may be blasphemous for many but for the inquiring  the book is a treat and of much history and why not’s..

This also reminds of a work of fiction by Irving Wallace ’The Word’, where the officialdom moves mountains to stop the revelation of a Bible long lost and found.


The faithful might brand the book iconoclastic perversion, but only that they speaketh with eyes closed.
 

An Excerpt

In a little known letter Albert Einstein wrote, “Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind”. His famous aphorism has been a source of endless debate between believers and non- believers wanting to claim the greatest scientist of the 20 th century as their own.

This little known letter written by him may help to settle the argument –or at least provide further fuel to his views. However the document leaves no doubt that the theoretical physicist was no supporter of religious beliefs, which he regarded as “childish superstitions”.

Einstein penned the letter on January 3 1954to philosopher Eric Gutkind.

In the letter he states that, “The word god is for me nothing more than an expression and product of human weakness, the Bible collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this”.Einstine who was Jewish and who declined an offer to be the state of Israel’s second president also rejected the idea that the Jews are God’s favoured people.

“For me the Jewish religion like all other is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have deep affinity have no different quality for me than other human groups. I cannot see anything chosen about them”.

The letter is a handwritten piece; in German.Einstines thoughts on religion have long attracted conjecture.

His parents were not religious but he attended a Catholic primary school and at the same time received private tuition in Judaism. This prompted what he later called, his "religious paradise of youth", during which he observed religious rules such as not eating pork. This did not last long though and by 12 he was questioning the truth of many biblical stories.

"The consequence was a positively fanatic [orgy of] freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is being deceived by the state through lies; it was a crushing impression," he later wrote.

In his later years he referred to a "cosmic religious feeling" that permeated and sustained his scientific work. In 1954, a year before his death, he spoke of wishing to "experience the universe as a single cosmic whole". He was also fond of using religious flourishes, in 1926 declaring that "He [God] does not throw dice" when referring to randomness thrown up by quantum theory.

His position on God has been widely misrepresented by people on both sides of the atheism/religion divide but he always resisted easy stereotyping on the subject.

Like other great scientists he does not fit the boxes in which popular polemicists like to pigeonhole him, It is clear for example that he had respect for the religious values enshrined within Judaic and Christian traditions ... but what he understood by religion was something far more subtle than what is usually meant by the word in popular discussion.

Despite his categorical rejection of conventional religion, Einstein became angry when his views were appropriated by evangelists for atheism. He was offended by their lack of humility and once wrote. "The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."

Adapted source -The Guardian

Star Dust

Star dust that we are, insignificant specks.

Insignificant -

in schemes wondrous, that nature has ruled.

For the sun to rise, set and rise again;

for the earth to turn around, for the moon to shine;

for the stars to twinkle, for the clouds to sail;

for the rains to drop, and for the earth to quench!

The rainbow to regal;

and the birds to chirp, in ecstasy and freedom.

for the beasts of the jungle and the little ones of the woods;

and all that small and beautiful!

For the streams to flow into rapids and beyond;

the oceans to churn and for the  fishes too!

for seasons to part, flowers to bloom;

for the trees ,and the mountains that outlived.

Where do we in the scheme of things stand?

Yet, to know what we are, look yonder to the skies,

by night ,and  at the stars up above, wonder

and be aware, star dust we are and insignificant too.

Meaning of Life

What is the meaning of human life, or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion. Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life". (Albert Einstein)

This excerpt is a letter written by Einstein in response to a 19-year-old Rutger's University student, who had written to Einstein of his despair at seeing no visible purpose to life and no help from religion. In responding to this poignant cry for help, Einstein offered no easy solace, and this very fact must have heartened the student and lightened the lonely burden of his doubts.

Here is Einstein's response. 

I was impressed by the earnestness of your struggle to find a purpose for the life of the individual and of mankind as a whole. In my opinion there can be no reasonable answer if the question is put this way.

If we speak of the purpose and goal of an action we mean simply the question: which kind of desire should we fulfill by the action or its consequences or which undesired consequences should be prevented? We can, of course, also speak in a clear way of the goal of an action from the standpoint of a community to which the individual belongs. In such cases the goal of the action has also to do at least indirectly with fulfillment of desires of the individuals which constitute a society.

If you ask for the purpose or goal of society as a whole or of an individual taken as a whole the question loses its meaning. This is, of course, even more so if you ask the purpose or meaning of nature in general. For in those cases it seems quite arbitrary if not unreasonable to assume somebody whose desires are connected with the happenings.

Nevertheless we all feel that it is indeed very reasonable and important to ask ourselves how we should try to conduct our lives. The answer is, in my opinion: satisfaction of the desires and needs of all, as far as this can be achieved, and achievement of harmony and beauty in the human relationships. This presupposes a good deal of conscious thought and of self-education.

It is undeniable that the enlightened Greeks and the old Oriental sages had achieved a higher level in this all-important field than what is alive in our schools and universities.

The Sample Five

I have five personalities from different  faiths.
I found it quite interesting to look into the possibility and likely hood of these people having a free passage through the golden gates of Heaven.Two are deceased and  we may not hold any doubt as to where one would be now.

Benny Hinn is an example of his kind who have virtually hijacked all faiths and religions.Thriving on the wrecked lives of people and the gullible .

Benny Hinn was born in  1952, in the then newly established state of Israel.

Took to evangelism, and reportedly earns revenue in excess of USD 250 million a year. He,Hinn is known for his  extravagant life style. He claims to have anointing, special power given by God to heal the sick. Watch dog groups have alleged that his healing acts are contrived and participated by volunteers. Hidden cameras placed at his healing ministries have found deep set and well orchestrated false and fake practises. Hinn exhorts people to donate to his ministry and be saved from all debts by the Lord.

Facts on Benny revealed by NBC:-- Hinn's salary is somewhere around a million dollars per year.
 he has a $10 million seaside mansion,.
 he owns a private jet with annual operating costs of about $1.5 million. and he drives a Mercedes SUV and convertible, valued at about $100,000 each. (Source Watchdog).

Benny Hinn Ministries supports  quite a few missions of charity around the world.

Mother Teresa - needs know encomium or  help from any amicus curiae

Nelosn Mnadela the living symbol of conscience.

The current bearer of St Peter's legacy. One of the richest person in the world.Ornamentally dressed and ostentatious- in total contrast with the shepherd he swears by.
Zealously labours in spreading the "Word" around the world .
Is awkwardly placed in his relationship with other faiths.

The White Sahibs of Great Britain called him "the willy politician and the half naked fakir.

Albert Einstine quoted in his eulogy ,"generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this in flesh and blood walked upon this earth".
All that he possessed while he was shot dead was ,a pair of leather footwear, a metal rimmed spectacles,a fountain pen ,a pocket watch , a wooden walking stick, a manual spinning wheel, besides the home spun cotton fabric he draped around his body.

Sleeping with the Monsoon

I was pretty tired and must have fallen into the tranquil comfort of sleep well before midnight. I was alone in that house in Cochin. My friend Sree and family left for Coiambatore leaving me in charge of the regularly unkempt house and the big Great Dane, Motti. Various matters as usual tired me, by late evening ,and the sleep was a welcome visitor.

 I do not know when it began but I woke up at the sound of the music- drum beat and jingle of the rain. It was pouring and in torrents. I lie in bed and saw through the curtains on the window, the monsoon- by night- at its zestful best in Kerala. And I began enjoying its goodness after many years. Living in Tamilnad for the last twenty odd years had its deprivation. An incessant torrential downpour was one. The monsoon does not visit my part of Tamilnad as it does the total of Kerala.

Through the curtains, I could see the heavy rain drops by the hazy light on the street. They were slanted and nearly twisted by the wind. I lay there in bed in all the comfort and peace that only dreams could give. I travelled back years to relive certain days and nights as such during height of monsoon. There were nights when I used to lie cuddled under the sheet listening to the torrent outside and wishing that it pours and pours through day break and school could be done away with. Myriad stories from the times when I was little, the lore connected with rain and rainy days that I picked from the oldies then, went through my mind. It was browbeating rain outside. I seemed to hear every drop of the wonder out there.

I thought of the years that went by. And now into the later part of life, the sound of the rain still holds amazing sway over the mind. Like ones mother, Nature has her many ways to fan you and sooth, the music of rain was one such way. It was a lullaby from up above.

I thought of the book that I read long ago written by Alexander Frater, “Chasing the Monsoon”. It became a highly noted BBC film too. The book documented Fraters journey from Kovalam off Thiruvananthapuram with the arrival of the monsoon clouds. His visit to the men at the observatory in Thiruvannathapuram, and their crude ways of predicting the monsoon; his travel by boat from Quilon and following the downpour right through Kerala , into Goa and beyond till the north east.

I had the sudden urge to get out of the bed and walk in the rain. But the comfort and cosiness of the bed, the thin sheet spread over my torso, the cool pleasant air ,the flapping of the curtains at the persistent gentle howl of the wind, and the music outside touched me much that amongst the thoughts I fell back into sleep- I slept that night with “the monsoon”.

'Fraility'

I searched for goodness

But it never was.

Perhaps sublimed and in the shadow, I reckoned

And  I searched.in vain.

Ruth and empathy, I searched about

But it never was.

Little pearls of Godliness,that endure in all

I sought, but it never was.

The smile, the words, quenching they seemed

So, yet, I searched again

And of no avail.

Scintilla of hidden goodness

That might be in us all

I searched in depth and with hope

But it never was.

Lament I did,'pray, I be wrong’.

I wailed, falter did I, in search?

But I saw,nay it was not so;

Because, ‘Frailty’ was her name!

"Satanic Verses"

Why do we bark up the wrong tree?

Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deivm, is the wisest dictum that has been taught in our culture and that has been passed down the ages. And makes commonsense too! In my thinking it would be irrational to prefer a force that is putative, over persons in flesh and blood- one’s biological parents!

However, the cultural excellence apart, how do we see things, in what order, and in what line of importance? Every one irrespective of their religious leanings except for some satanic manifestations like me, (Satan, though religious, is yet a persona non grata in all faiths), get excited and show frenzied state of mind when the names of their Gods are invoked, be it in good taste or otherwise. Man has put God on a pedestal higher than his parents. The result, man has forgotten to be of allegiance to his God, and also he has ceased to respect and care for his parents. The sorry state is that one tolerates irreverence to ones parents, but presumes any comment that is uncommon as blaspheming his God, and indulges in violent retribution.Man has less love and regard for his parents, but has fathomless loves for his God, so he claims.

I have seen and felt quite a few examples over the past many years, where  parents are trampled and God revered.

I have felt revulsion and utter dislike for certain people who with impudence devoid of conscience throw out their aged parents. One gentleman I was acquainted with, (wonder if the adjective or noun, whatever the grammatical formulation, can be attributed to the fellow’s conduct), dismiss his aged parents from his scheme of things. He took them from his home where they were, and ungratefully threw them to fend in a small house in some remote village. This guy I understand conducts yearly pilgrimage to see his God in Sabarimala!

Yet another group of people I know have profanely used their pliable parents to further their covetous life. They thrived on the misery and financial constraints of their parents. The parents had to acquiesce mutely, because their financial capability was limited,and money was flowing in for the necessities and wants of living... Though I wish the surviving parent has saved remorse in her that may see her at peace in later life.

I have seen the total commitment, duty and devotion of a son to his mother stricken, and deteriorate with serious senile dementia.

And I have also known a son who was more concerned about the financial goodness of the business he inherited from his father than spent adequately on medical care for the old man, bedridden and sinking.

When I was little, I was immensely impressed and fascinated whenever   I saw my father supplicate at his mother’s feet and express obeisance before he set off on any journey. I can recall that, not only he, his brothers as well did the same.

But in the age that we live, interpersonal relationships evolving out of wedlock have also acted against the qualities of affection, love, devotion and gratitude one owes to ones parents. Old age homes are a new mantra and a venture for commercial exploitation. They have now become the distant out post where one can cast away ones aged and inconvenient parents.

And then one may join the beeline to  a Sabarimal,a  Vellankanni, or any other abode of the Gods.

In Third Person

To tell a story in third person has its convincing charm. If the narration is in the first person it becomes more often a soliloquy and would also raise question marks about the veracity of the explanations. It may also give way to the feeling that it was concocted. If, when the story is in third person, the narrator tells what is known to him and there will be interregnums when and where the story teller seems to have not much clue about how the plot went. Then it is up to the reader to infer. This is where the art of storytelling comes to play.

Such a fascinating writer was Somerset Maugham! He excelled in narrating in the third person. And the one that stands out in my opinion, amongst his works of excellence, is “The Razors Edge”, (later a Hollywood movie of the same name, made twice in 1946 and again in 1984 starring Bill Murray). The movie was not even a distant shadow of the novel. In fact, this was the literary creation of Maugham that initiated me into his fan club. And I must acknowledge that was one of the good that came about after I got to know and befriend Balan.

I do brood over this subject of describing a story (fiction or otherwise) in third person. It, besides creating an inquisitiveness and involvement in the reader also helps the writer from not being accused of blatancy. Because, describing the fact of the matter is always disapproved and considered blasphemous and insolent.

There are a plethora of subjects around that can be spoken about and commented. But a firsthand account may be alleged odious, covetous and, or fabricated.In many instance facts are stranger and starker than fiction.

Alone at Dawn

At dawn I sat down by the pond, and saw the wonder-

Of the nimbleness of the Sunbird glide down the mallow

Down with the dew drops and back to begin again.

The Mynas pick little may-flies that squirmed by the pond

The Munias fly by and feed the nestlings, nestled on the branch near

The warblers warble in haste to the silver oaks yonder,

The fish splash in the pond, amongst the lilies salmon and pink.

And the Toad, croak beneath the waterleaf, before it slumbers at the break of day.

I walked down the way, and saw the owls perched atop

The crow pheasant annoyed ,move into the bush as my steps near

While the Peacocks flutter in chorus, to stay away.

 I saw the sun in its amber glow; gently spread its aurora.

And the crimson clouds give way to the, brightness

 of another day.

I saw the Geckos scamper away at the alight of the day.

The birds of the sky fly by in union; the dragon- flies descend and dance a ballet.

A cuckoo sang from a distant tree.

I turned aside and saw my dog walk by my side, look longingly at me and say, ‘aye’!

Then I wondered- man, misfit in such a day?  I saw for sure the answer was, 'ye'.

What constitutes 'Beauty'?

Pageants all over the world have different profiles and target different markets. Some pageants look for swimsuit models for magazines, some look for models for the fashion industry, some look for new faces into tinsel town. Some also claim to be engaged in identifying ambassadors for welfare activities and programmes.

 I saw some portions of the Miss Universe pageant 2010 that rocked Las Vegas. And as it has always been the rule, than the exception a damsel from Mexico (a third world- or may be developing country) was crowned .And Miss India Ushoshi Sengupta not only drew flak for her fancy dress kind costume and also she lost out.

Nevertheless Mexico a developing country won the title. And that would suffice and serve well the purpose behind this expensive well marketed joke of fancy dress competitions. The many multinational manufacturers of women’s beauty products, swim suits and costumes stand to gain, because a woman from the third world, a developing country is now their mascot, and ambassador. And their sales in the impoverished third world will get a flip. New markets and vistas will be opened up.

Ostensibly as it has always been claimed, the goal of these damsels is to eradicate poverty, bring forth child welfare, empower women, world peace etc. In 2002 (I wonder if I got the year correct) the beauty pageant did do something for peace in Nigeria. When ethnic and religious violence against such events went out of control. Wonder what an impoverished country like Nigeria could do for world peace by hosting such an event. The pageant organisers had to run lock stock and barrel.

I’m not ipso facto against such pageants like Miss World and Miss Universe. But my question is what have they achieved other than triple the sale of cosmetics and expensive women’s accessories. Big marketing syndicates have gained. And the damsels who have won tactfully enter the highly rewarding theatre of activity, films and advertising.

We have such a few cases here in India too. The The Aiswaryas, the Sushmitas,the Priyankas, the Lara Duttas,the Omana Kuttans  all have got the one way ticket to Bollywood and have made it big. In what way have their crowning, fame and name ameliorated the perils of women? In what way have these ladies contributed to women’s welfare and empowerment? I remember some of these ladies declare ostensibly at the pageant when asked about their ambition, and aim in life. “Poverty eradication, children’s welfare, women’s empowerment”! What laudable and magnanimous goals!

Mother Teresa was not a beauty queen by these yardsticks and bench marks.And was never turned to by these pageants .But yet she have done during her life time much for peace , for the dis-Publish Postempowered,the dispossessed and the meek than all the beauties  can ever dream of or claim .

And the bottom line is what constitutes ‘beauty’?

Reminiscence of College days 2

April14,2007

I mentioned in a previous post on memoirs of College about the tour to Bangalore. And how we broke the ranks and control of the Asst Professor and ventured out in the night.

I managed to retrieve after much search few photographs of some of us who made it to Bangalore in 1978.Appearances of some are funny, and some look pretty. Some look emaciated including me.Looking back, quite a contrast nature had decreed for every person! This is manifested when one look back at the photos during the farewell party twenty seven years ago and during the trip to Bangalore.

April14,2007

 On the sides of the reunion function and the luncheon some of us recalled the vapid fun some had and the little, subtle infatuations during the days in college. We however concluded that a smile, an incessant ageless smile should not be taken as the acceptance of amour, of intimacy. And we were also unanimous in the opinion that the realization was quite late in coming ha ha ha ha !!

All said and done the reunion was a master act, and I m certain that the kids who came along and the spouses too would never have thought of such grand and earnest response.It is fascinating to look at the faces and try to recollect what they looked twenty seven years ago, branded as a bunch of impertinent rascals.

Musings at noon

Early this week, on the 23 August I and C lived our twenty second anniversary of our wedding, and we were in Thiruvananthapuram with my mother. In fact, the melee that life is now, we nearly forgot about that day.

Twenty two and one half years ago I was given an assuring blow by Cupid. And some eight months down we got married .At home it was a very inconvenient and unconventional decision that all had to live with because I was marrying a Christian. To me, and fortunately for C the trappings of Hinduism and Catholicism were not even a remote matter of interest and concern. The 'isms' were trivial in the mundane affairs of live.

We were in touch throughout those five months before the wedding either by telephone or by letters through mail (post). There were moments when people glared at me irritated and furious as I occupied telephone booths at public outlets for minute’s together (wish there were mobile phones then and in those times).

We exchanged by post one hundred letters each, and hand written too. And they all are still kept safe .I have not read them since. Feel that it will be like revisiting a sort of infatuation of those days! 

I wonder if the new age of computer and email, of mobiles and text messages  would provide the personal touch, the passion of the heart  and the feelings in  each alphabet, word and sentence that we store in those two hundred letters that were exchanged. There was nothing in those two hundred odd letters that denoted or even distantly alluded to the whims and influences of Aphrodite or Eros. I guess they were somewhat refined and reasonably matured exchanges. Towards the wedding month, we mutually agreed not to be in any contact what so ever from the August 1, until the day of the wedding.So the letter writings and phone calls ceased from then.

Relationships are sadly and increasingly being frivolous in the age of sms and emails. And exchange of letters and text messages would sound and   feel like writing, sending, receiving and reading business correspondence. When one received a hand written letter, one could see in each letter and word the image of the person who wrote it. There was nothing impersonal and everything was vivid. Even the Post man who ventured with the much wanted and awaited mail was seen as the harbinger of good tidings and a welcome figure at the gate.

But as life moves on and we become antediluvian and anachronistic, may be one day we will  retract into our confines and read those letters from the times  Cupid  stalked us. Which I' m certain will not be damaged by spy ware, malware and viruses.And perhaps we may in those letters see our star struck and dumb founded faces again.

Reminiscence of College days1

I presume that twenty eight years down is a fair time to reminisce the teens and the early twenties of once age.

I was in a college which had liberal sprinkling of the fairer sex. The co-ed institution was one of the best in Thiruvanathapuram and quite capable of standing up to the Women's colleges of that city in the matter of pretty beautiful girls.

Our class acquired a rebellious nimbus, and in the words of our professor “infamous and impertinent bunch”. The description covered both the sex in the batch.

I would in fact hesitate to term us rebellious- well if it is purely for antagonising the professor for conducting in an unconventional way, quite different from his and some of the staff members views, well then the adjective is apposite. It has to be acknowledged that the staff members were headed by a very conservative professor who would in all probability have proscribed co-education, if he had his ways. And also some of the staff members were quite respectful of him and would not will to antagonise or do something contrary to his opinion.

It all began in the first year during the fun trip to Bangalore. Those days the KK Express (Kerala- Karnataka Express) got one to Bangalore from Thiruvanathapuram. Some ten of us boys and girls took off after dinner without the consent of the leader of the pack the Assistant professor. We took a couple of auto rickshaws, bunched ourselves in and reached Brigades road and got into the cinema to watch “Return of the Dragon”. It was very late after midnight that we came back to the Hotel .And was given a severe dressing down by the Asst professor. He also reported the matter back to the college.

During the recess between classes we used to engage in the game of Lexicon cards. It was a fascinating game of alphabets and words played with “Lexicon Cards”. One needs a fair percent of erudition and vocabulary to consider the game as his or her forte. And for an onlooker,at a glance, it would seemingly be like the game of Bridge. The Staff members thought so, and we were pulled up to the Principal. Outrageous, boys and girls, they even have the temerity to play cards in the class room. This was the accusation of the Professor. The matter was given a cold shoulder by the Principal when he found what we were engaged in, but the Professor was appalled that boys and girls conduct in such blatant activity inside the college.

Once, a prankster in our midst, (whose identity is still debated amongst us) sent by post to the professor a fascinating book of pictures, those that were explicit, and akin to the ones from Khujaraho. This infuriated the professor. And instead of ignoring the audacity of the fellow who ever he was, he brought the matter in public and the whole college was laughing at his predicament. Fancy stories went around.

We found yet another way to revel in past time. There is a very Keralite game which is played in the country side. I would say it is a Kerala version of base ball. The only difference was that the bat was a stick that was feet long and the ball was replaced by another stick of six inches. And we played that amongst us with a mix team of boys and girls. The court was down the department building and in full view of the professor and the staff members’ room. Notoriety and infamy that was redefined! The fascinating game of "kuttium kollum" was thereby decreed as frivolous and a  game of impertinent bunch of rascals .

                                            The class of 1980 farewell day

The end result was during the farewell party in the far end of the terminal year the Professor and the staff members chose the moment to vent their wrath on us. The farewell party was boycotted by all of them except one gentleman, our Economics tutor. The class photo gave a fascinating look .Just the Principal and the teacher stood along with us. A similar incident had never happened before or after.

The bottom line was the graduation result,and it  was a sweet retort of sorts. Two University rankers, the first and the second were from amongst us. And a record number of First class graduates. I was lucky one of them! 

But the Professor did not relent he refused to endorse our conduct certificates.

Fear

To close ones eyes and wish it is dark

To wish it is dark cos of the fright to face light.

Run away in fear from dedications ethical

cos love for self is the volition of  heart and soul.

To live in fear of  reality that stares

And close ones eyes to values that must be held dear.
Fear the present and bury the future
And endure in fear of the ghost of ones past.

Oh eternal misery are such lives unto the grave.

I had a dream

I had a dream, and I was on the precipice

The rocks were keen and steep, I clutched them with my life.

Looked below and dread the abyss deep.

The piece of bread seized 'tween my tattered fingers,

because I was 'fraid to let go the crump

Lest all go hungry and vain..

As I moved down edging,

Afraid of the slide and the fall any moment to come

The ground beneath my feet

ne'er reached me soon.

I had a dream, and I saw the dead

Rotten and dried cadaver of men and women

Hung on the string like meat put to dry

Mummies, beyond reckon, and couldn’t know who they where,

and why?

I had a dream, and I saw the deluge.

Of gushing water that took me down

I gasped in the swirl, knowing not what-

the whirl held for me, down under.

I had a dream, and I saw the dawn

raise me in her arms, coddle me long

I woke up in time,

and saw it was morn.

Hope

Words stay aloof

They stay aloof and away,

Afraid to descend;

Like I fear the day to come.

And moments move relentless

into the uncertain, that is the dawn of morrow.

And I ebb with its flow

Clutching at every twig gasping with hope and only hope.